fanfic_name = Two Sides

chapter = 3

author = Dwparsnip

Rating = AP15

Type = Angst

fanfic =





By the time Miriya's Skull group had gotten Rick's damaged Alpha within a couple of minutes of the ship, Max had gotten Lisa to wake up, and when they entered the hangar bay they could see the flight crew already working feverishly to get Rick out of the Battloid. Her mind was a complete blank as she had moved through the ship, Max supporting her the entire way, but when she saw the damaged Battloid her heart sank.



The assembled crowd of pilots and flight crew parted to let Lisa and Max through, and they moved as close as they could get to the Battloid. That wasn't really true. They stood as close as Max would let them get. Lisa knew he was keeping them back farther than they had to be in regards to their safety. He was worried about what she might see or hear and she didn't know what she felt more about that.annoyed that he thought that she might not be able to handle whatever happened, or grateful for his support and protectiveness.



She still felt a little off center, and she felt appreciative for Max's strong hand on her arm, supporting her. It was only another few moments when she felt an equally strong hand on her other arm, and she knew it was Miriya before she looked over for confirmation.



The flight crew finally got the emergency hatch open and they looked inside. Of the four of them to look inside Rick's Alpha, only the crew chief didn't flinch. While the other three were in shock at what they saw, one of them actually lost his lunch, the Chief was in as far as he could get, trying to help Rick. Finally, one of them shook off the shock and helped the chief.



A murmur spread throughout the assembled crew members. She saw Max look to Miriya, and she strengthened her hold on Lisa as Max let go of her arm and stepped forward, faced the crowd and said, "I want everyone but medical personnel to leave here now." For emphasis, he stepped closer to the crowd and said, "Right now."



Lisa didn't look, but she could hear and even sense the crowd disperse behind her. 'Bless you, Max', she thought thankfully.



Max took her arm again and they waited anxiously. Lisa watched as Jean and her medical team moved a gurney into position, and after what seemed like a slow motion eternity, the Chief and his crew finally got Rick out of the Battloid and placed him on the stretcher. When they laid him down, they stepped back and Lisa got a sick feeling in her stomach when she saw Jean grimace as she gave Rick a once over. Her staff got to work, covering Rick and tending to what appeared to her to be extensive wounds. Her sick feeling intensified when she glanced back to the Chief and noticed the abundant red stains on his hands and clothes.



They were strapping her husband onto the gurney when she saw him look in their direction. Her heart soared as she thought, 'He's awake!' She could see him grab Jean, and a second later she was looking towards them. Lisa was expecting Jean to call her over to be with him, but when Jean called out to Max, she was devastated. 'Even in so much pain he can't get past what he thinks he saw.'



Max looked at her. "Go", she murmured to him, and he ran over to Rick. She watched as Max held Rick's hand and leaned down to talk to him, but before either of them could say anything the med techs began moving the gurney.



When they went through the door, Miriya moved to follow them, but Lisa wouldn't budge. Lisa moved instead towards the Battloid, and as Miriya helped her along she said, "Lisa, I do not think this is wise."



Lisa didn't hear her, and she slipped out of Miriya's grasp. As Lisa approached the Alpha, she heard one of the flight crew ask the Chief, "Did you ever see a comm. screen blow like that?" The Chief was shaking his head and said, "Nope. Never. I had thought I had seen it all."



Lisa stopped behind them as they surveyed the damaged interior. "Chief", she said just loud enough to be heard. The Chief and the flight crewmembers all stood up, and the Chief moved in front of the open hatch to hide the sight of the cockpit from her. "Could you stand aside please?" She wanted to see where her husband was injured and to see the damage.



She kept her face stern as the Chief looked into her eyes. "Ma'am, I really don't think you need to see this."



She knew he was looking out for her, but she wanted to see, needed to see. "I appreciate that Chief, but you're wrong. I do need to see." She noticed the Chief glance behind her, and before Miriya could even try to assist him, she said, "I have to Miriya." She turned to face her friend. "If it were Max, you would want to."



She saw a solemn look come over the Zentraedi's face, and realizing that Miriya would not stop her, Lisa turned to face the Chief. "If you please, Chief, stand aside." He nodded and moved away.



Lisa summoned all of her strength and moved to the wide-open emergency hatch. She bent over to look inside, resting her hand on the top edge of the hatch for the support she was sure she would need, and the sight of Rick's blood everywhere brought tears to her eyes and a pain to her chest that she hadn't felt since the day her hesitation got him shot down over the Pacific Ocean years earlier. The throttle, what was left of the main view screen, the forward instrument panel.all covered in crimson. 'The seat.it's drenched in.oh my God, he's lost so much.' She turned and ran towards the doors to the hangar, and she could hear Miriya following her. She never bothered to go to the elevator; instead she headed to the nearby stairs, which she flew down at a blistering pace. She reached G deck and bolted through the doors just in time to see the OR doors close. She was just about to barge through them when she heard someone moan her name.



She stopped in her tracks at the pitiful sound and turned around to see Max sitting on the floor next to the elevator. He had his back against the wall, his knees brought up to his chest and his left hand was on the floor alongside him. He had his right hand in front of him, looking at the red stains as though they were sacred. He wasn't crying, but his eyes were moist. Lisa had never seen Max in such a state, not even when they thought they had lost Dana when she was five, and it filled her with a terrible sense of dread.



Miriya came through the stairway door and went to him, and Lisa watched as Miriya tried to comfort Max. She helped him to stand up, and Max looked at Lisa and said, "Why did he want me to tell you that this wasn't your fault?" He took a shaky step towards her and asked, "What happened, Lisa?"



Lisa felt her tears leave her eyes and follow the pull of the ship's artificial gravity, and she avoided his question by asking, "How is he, Max?"



She could tell he was torn between answering her question and demanding an answer to his own, and she was relieved when it seemed that she had won this round. Max took an unsteady breath and said, "He passed out when the doors opened. They took them straight in. It.it doesn't look good, Lisa."



Lisa felt her legs get weak, but she managed to hold her ground. 'Please God, don't let him die.please.'



As she finished the thought Max continued, "He wanted me to tell you that it wasn't your fault, that he was stubborn and he's to blame." He took a deep breath. "He wanted you to know that he loves you.very much. He asked me to look after you.to look after you and Roy."



Lisa's knees began to buckle and Miriya rushed to her side, lending her the support she needed to stay on her feet.



Max put his blood stained hand on the wall. "He told me", he said shakily, "that I was his Little Brother, like he was Roy's." He brought his arm down and leaned his back against the wall, and as he looked up at the ceiling he whispered, "He doesn't think he's going to make it."



The elevator doors opened and the Situation Room's third officer, Lieutenant Slade, stepped up to Lisa and held out a piece of paper for her to take. She took it from him, almost as if in a trance, and as he turned to go back into the elevator, she handed it to Miriya. Miriya looked at the paper and said, "Vince and Forsythe report that the Invid forces have withdrawn. They credit Rick with sounding the alarm, allowing the Ares and the Apollo to meet them before they initiated their attack."



Lisa turned from Max and Miriya and walked unsteadily towards the OR doors. She had walked three steps when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned as Max took his hand away, and faced him. Before he could ask, she began.



"Rick saw Lt. Commander Stevens kiss me in my office last evening." She waited for what she had said to sink in, and it didn't take long at all. Max stepped back as though she had physically hit him, and he had a wide-eyed, disgusted look on his face. 'I can't blame him, I suppose. If he told me something similar I'd react the same way.' She looked to Miriya, who had moved to take Max's arm. Lisa could see fiery anger in her green eyes, and only for Max needing her right now, Lisa figured Miriya would be a lot more upset.



"It's not what either of you are thinking", she explained. She lowered her voice and looked to the floor. "I was so tired.and I was daydreaming about Rick when Stevens came to my office for a meeting." She looked up at them and could see doubt in their faces, but she could also see that they wanted to believe her. "He started going on about.", she laughed as she tried to remember, ".I can't even remember what he was talking about. I dozed off.I actually dozed off sitting up and listening to a report, and when I looked at him again I saw Rick leaning in to kiss me.and I responded as though it was Rick, even letting him begin to undo my uniform." She was crying again, or still, she couldn't tell anymore, and she didn't really care. She moved to a chair near the OR doors, sat down and put her hands over her face. "Before I realized what was happening and stopped it, Rick saw and assumed the worst."



Max regained some of his senses and asked, "How did he see you if you were in your office?"



Lisa lowered her hands and looked at the wall across from her. She laughed at would normally be a funny and romantic image and she explained. "He wanted to surprise me, so he took the Battloid up to my office window. He saw Stevens kiss me, but not the rest. Not me pushing him off or." She couldn't take the thought anymore and broke down in earnest. She sobbed uncontrollably, and just when she thought she was going to go over the edge Max knelt down in front of her, put his arms around her shoulders and pulled her into an embrace. "It's okay, Lisa."



She threw her arms around his waist and let it all go. "He can't die Max, he can't." She felt Miriya's hand on her shoulder, and for many minutes, she cried into the shoulder of her friend, and try as he did to reassure her that everything was going to turn out okay, she knew he didn't really believe it himself. Finally, she calmed down enough to lean back to face him. "It was an accident, Max. A mistake. I was.I was just so tired and I thought it was him, only for a few moments."



She stood up and walked gingerly down the hallway, hugging herself as she went, suddenly chilled to the bone. She turned around by the elevators and headed back towards the OR. "I tried to talk to him. I tried to call him in the Sit. Room, and then I fell asleep waiting for him to come home. But he didn't. I woke up this morning and found a note he slipped under the door, telling me he was leaving for a few days. I ran to Flight Control and tried to tell him what had happened, but he wouldn't listen.he was so hurt and so angry." Lisa fought back a new wave of tears and sobs as she remembered the pain in his faded blue eyes. "He said he needed to figure out what he felt. He thought I.he thought that I was with another man."



Her balance wavered and she had to support herself against the wall with her right hand. Miriya moved to her, put her arm around Lisa and guided her back to the chair. They sat there in silence for what seemed like forever. She didn't know what to do or what to say. 'I'm sure they don't know what to say after the bombshell I dropped on them.'



Eight hours had passed when the OR doors opened and Jean Grant walked towards them. She was dressed in the traditional surgical greens.though the front of her shirt was no longer green but the color of crimson, the same color that Lisa had seen so much of in the cockpit of Rick's damaged Alpha and on Max's hand.



Only for the fact that she really needed to hear what Jean was going to say, she would have fainted.



Lisa prided herself on being able to gauge the physical and emotional state of her crew, for her it was an integral part of being their commanding officer. Never had that ability brought her so much trepidation as it did when she watched Jean Grant walk towards her from within the operating room area. She could see the despair and uncertainty in the eyes of her CMO.



Lisa stood up as Jean neared her. Miriya stood next to her on one side and Max stood next to her on the other.



Jean nodded to Miriya and Max, and she moved to stand in front of Lisa.



Lisa looked to Jean, who put her hands on Lisa's arms and steered her gently into the chair she was sitting in earlier. 'This isn't a good sign', she thought absently. "He made it through surgery, Lisa, but he's still very weak. He's not out of the woods yet. The communications screen shattered.I don't know why, that's a question best left to the engineers and flight crew. Multiple shards hit Rick in the lower left abdomen, about here." Jean placed her left hand on her belly and patted it to show Lisa. She then moved her hand a little farther up on the same side and held there. "Another piece, a fairly sizable piece, entered here, between the ribs. The bigger piece hit his spleen and caused an enormous amount of blood loss, and we had to remove his damaged spleen. One of the smaller pieces from the lower stomach just nicked an artery, and while that too caused a lot of blood loss, it was relatively easy to repair. There was no damage to the liver, kidneys or other organs.he was lucky.very lucky, in that regard."



Through tear filled eyes Lisa asked, "Will he be okay, Jean?" Jean began to answer her when Lisa added, "The truth, Jean."



Jean lowered her eyes to the floor. "If you're looking for guarantees, Lisa, I'm sorry", she looked up and Lisa saw her eyes well up, "I can't give them to you. He's lost a lot of blood and has gone through a very physically traumatic experience.and we lost him once during the surgery...I just don't know." She took Lisa's hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "He's in good shape and healthy, Lisa, that all works in his favor. We're doing all we can, I promise."



Lisa knew it had to be hard for Jean to tell her that. She squeezed Jean's hand in gratitude and said quietly, "Thank you, Jean." She glanced at the OR doors and asked, "Can I see him?"



Jean shook her head. "Not for a while. We want to make sure he's stable and give his body a chance to deal with what's being thrown at it."



Lisa nodded her head, overwhelmed by the seriousness of her husband's condition, and as she tried to figure out how in the world they had gotten to that point, Jean stood up. Lisa saw her motion to Max and Miriya to move down the hall, and when they all moved away from Lisa, Jean started talking to them. When she was finished she looked at Lisa and said, "I'll let you know when you can see him, but it probably won't be until tomorrow morning."



She was about to protest, but Jean said forcefully, "He needs the time, Lisa. Why don't you go home and get some rest. I'll let you know if."



Lisa managed a smile for her benefit. "I'm fine, Jean."



Jean nodded and went back through the doors. Max came over to her and got down on one knee. "I'm going to head to the Sit. Room and check in on Vince.the poor guy has been thrown to the lions. Is there anything you need or want me to do or get?"



Lisa looked at Max, his eyes still moist and faded with fear and grief behind his tinted glasses, and couldn't help but hug him. She felt his arms go around her, and she said, "Thank you, Max." She released him and sat back in the chair. "Could you check in with Forsythe, ask him if there is anything I should know? Make sure everything is okay up there."



Max smiled. "No problem. Anything else? Food or drink?"



Lisa shook her head. "The only thing I really need right now, Max", she whispered, "is to hold my husband."



Max nodded his understanding, stood up and asked Miriya the same question. She shook her head, and after he gave her a kiss he was off.



'They never seem to have any problems', she thought, though she knew better, perhaps better than anyone, even Rick. She knew that Max and Miriya had to work hard at their relationship, but they always made it look so easy. Miriya sat in the chair next to her and reached over to hold Lisa's left hand. Lisa put her right hand on top of Miriya's and they did the only thing they could do: they waited.they waited through the night, leaving the OR area only long enough to freshen up. Every once in a while, Lisa would catch a catnap, but she couldn't find peaceful sleep, not with Rick fighting to live.



Twelve hours later afer Jean's visit, Lisa couldn't take it anymore...she had to see him, she had to be near him. Max had taken it upon himself to keep an eye on the Sit. Room, and as such he had come and gone several times, and was gone now. Miriya had to go to the washroom, so she was alone in the corridor. She stood up and walked to the OR doors, opened them and stepped inside. She walked the few steps into the section and came to a divide in the corridor. It went straight ahead, to the left and to the right. She had been in this section of the infirmary only once before, years ago when she first assumed command of the ship and went on an inspection tour. She had no idea where Rick would be, other than the obvious recovery room, but there were no signs that she could see.



She stood in the middle of the intersection, closed her eyes and concentrated. She concentrated with all of her soul on the most important thing in her life at that moment: Rick.



With her eyes still closed, she turned her head to the left, then straight ahead and then to the right. When Lisa faced the corridor to the right, a peaceful, warm feeling washed over her. She opened her eyes and began walking down that corridor, and the farther down the corridor she went, the more intense the warmth became. She walked until she stood in front of a large window that had the words 'Critical Care Unit' posted in the upper left hand corner. She looked through the window and the air rushed out of her chest as she realized just what it was that she saw.



She stepped back brought her hands up to her mouth to try to keep the terrified scream that was there from exiting her mouth. Her eyes welled up again and she forced herself to move back to the window. Just on the other side of the glass was her worst nightmare.Rick in a hospital bed with all sorts of tubes and wires connected to him, surrounded by machinery working to keep him alive long enough for his own body to fight back to life.



At that particular moment, she couldn't imagine seeing anything else that would smother her soul more.



'Rick', she moaned inwardly. 'Please Rick, don't leave me. Please.' She put her hand on the window, holding it there as if she had her hand on his chest, feeling his heart beat.



"Lisa!"



Lisa never flinched; she was too focused on Rick. "I'm sorry Jean", she said quietly, "but I just had to be near him."



Jean came up beside Lisa and put her arm around her. "I know, Lisa, but it's five in the morning and I just didn't want you to see him like that." She turned her attention to Rick and said, "We had to insert a breathing tube and hook him up to a respirator. I was hoping he would start breathing on his own before you saw him."



Lisa lowered her head and whispered, "What am I going to do if he doesn't make it, Jean?"



"You have to be positive, Lisa. Rick is a tough, stubborn man who won't go down without a fight." Jean hesitated as she watched a nurse enter Rick's room and check on him and the machinery. "He has a lot to fight for, Lisa. He'll fight for Roy, and he'll fight for you."



Lisa was so distraught by Jean's words she couldn't speak or even cry. 'That's just it, Jean. I know he'll fight for Roy, but he won't fight for me.not after what he thinks I did to him.'



"I want you to stay here Lisa, under no circumstances are you to enter that room. Do you understand?" To emphasize the seriousness of what she was saying, Jean turned Lisa to face her and asked again, "Do you understand?"



Still thinking about what Jean had said about Rick, she simply nodded her head, and the wetness on her cheeks caused by the many tears she had cried caused her hair to stick to her cheek.



She watched as Jean walked away from her, only to reappear inside Rick's room several minutes later. Lisa watched intently as the nurse talked to Jean, and after Jean checked some of the instruments herself, she nodded to the nurse. Lisa's heart started to thump loudly in her chest as Jean walked towards her, and when Jean reached the window she moved to the side and pressed the button on an intercom that Lisa hadn't even noticed was there.



Jean's voice filtered through the tiny speaker off to the left. 'I told you he was stubborn, Lisa. He's breathing on his own and we're going to remove the breathing tube. It can be an unpleasant thing to watch, Lisa, so I'm going to close the blinds. Don't worry. I'll open them again when we're done."



Lisa closed her eyes in relief, but opened them again when she heard Jean say, 'Why don't you go and freshen up.get some coffee and a snack. He's going to need you, Lisa, and you need to be strong for him.'



'I'll give you credit, Jean. That's the only thing you could have said to get me out of here, even if only for a few minutes.' To Jean she said, "I'll head to our quarters and change and grab a little something."



'You better, or am I going to have to get Miriya to go with you?'



Lisa actually smiled. "I promise. Jean, call me immediately if."



'I will, Lisa. I promise.'



Lisa took one last look at her husband and slowly, against her will and better judgment, moved away from the window, and after Jean closed the blinds, she started to walk back down the corridor towards the exit.



When she emerged through the OR doors, Max and Miriya were both back, and when they saw her they stood up and waited. Lisa walked up to them, and after noting the fear in their eyes said, "He's breathing on his own and they're removing his breathing tube. Jean told me to go and get something to eat." She looked back to the OR doors and hesitated, not wanting to be any farther away from Rick than was necessary.



"Lisa?"



She turned to face Miriya. "Lisa, I will go with you." She turned to face Max and said, "Max will stay here."



Max nodded his agreement. "You guys go on."



Lisa thought for a second about telling Miriya to stay as well, but she knew that once the Colonel had her mind made up, there was very little anyone could do to change it.



She walked towards the elevator with Miriya close behind. Lisa pushed the button to summon the elevator, and when the doors opened she stepped inside and leaned her back against the back wall. Miriya moved inside and pressed the button for B deck, where Rick and Lisa's quarters were. They traveled in silence, and Lisa wondered if Miriya kept from talking because she was mad with her about Stevens, or if she just didn't know what to say.



The doors opened and a couple of minutes later, Lisa opened the door to her quarters and walked inside. As she heard Miriya close the door behind them, her eyes found Rick's note where she had left it on the coffee table. The floodgates opened and Lisa fell to her knees, resting her right hand on the coffee table for support.



Lisa could no longer stave off the avalanche of tears and the deep sobs that wanted to escape from deep within her chest. She had held them in as long as she could. Miriya was beside her in an instant, and Lisa felt immensely grateful that she wasn't alone.



"Miriya", Lisa managed, "what if.what if he doesn't." The thought of what she was trying to say only intensified her distress, and as an extension of that, her crying.



Miriya knelt down beside her, and as Lisa felt her friend's arm go around her shoulders, she heard, "Rick will not die, Lisa.you will not let him. When you go to him, talk to him and make him understand. Tell him he must fight and that you will help him."



Lisa calmed herself so that she could listen to Miriya. "Zentraedi believe that a warrior who was injured in battle can hear those around him.hear their thanks and their praise."



Miriya shuffled over on her knees to face Lisa, put her hands on Lisa's shoulders, and as Lisa looked into Miriya's eyes she saw that her friend was telling her something that not everyone knew.



"But most importantly, Lisa, a wounded warrior can hear the pleas of those who care for them to return. They can hear the encouragement and gain strength from it for the fight back to life."



Lisa closed her eyes and thought for a second. 'I have to be strong for him, let him know how I feel, what happened and that I need him. I have to.get up.'



Lisa opened her eyes, and saw a small smile on Miriya's face. Lisa returned the smile and stood up. "Excuse me, Miriya", Lisa said with a determination that surprised even her, "I have to change and go help my husband."



Miriya stood up as well and clapped her hands together. "Excellent! I will make you something to eat." Before Lisa could mount an argument, Miriya said, "You cannot give him strength if you have none yourself."



Lisa nodded her head slowly, looked at Miriya and said quietly, "You're a wise woman, my friend."



"So Max keeps telling me.now go."



Lisa smiled and headed to her bedroom, changed into a fresh uniform and used the washroom. When she returned to the living room, Miriya had on the coffee table some sandwiches and drinks.



Miriya was already munching, so Lisa sat beside her on the couch, took a sandwich up and bit into it. Moments later, the two women were out the door and headed to the infirmary.



When they got to the OR doors, they found Max asleep in one of the chairs. Lisa looked to Miriya and motioned to the doors. Miriya nodded and sat down next to Max as she went inside to the OR area. She went to where she had found Rick, and when she looked in the window her spirits lifted a little. The breathing tube was gone; and she thought that here weren't as many machines in there with him as there used to be. There was a nurse in with him, and Lisa opened the intercom channel. "Nurse, could you tell Dr. Grant that I would like to see her?" The nurse nodded and went out of the room.



A minute later, Jean appeared at the next set of doors down the hall and said, "Follow me, Lisa." Lisa walked to the doors and followed Jean inside.



Jean looked at Lisa warily. "That looks like a new uniform.what did you have to eat?"



Jean had a knack for sounding just like Claudia, not just in what she said, but also in how she said it. "Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.compliments of Miriya."



Jean smiled. "You can go in and see him. Inside the next room is the sterilizer. It looks like a resizing chamber; only it will kill any infection causing germs on you. It will feel funny, but it is absolutely essential that you do it whenever you go in there."



"I understand, Jean." Lisa gave Jean a little hug and whispered, "Thank you."



Jean stepped back and led Lisa to the door and said, "You're welcome."



Lisa walked into the next room and entered the chamber. 'Ouch. it does feel funny, like a million little ants. I'm coming, Rick.' The machine stopped and Lisa stepped out the other side into Rick's room. She took a step towards the bed, but couldn't go any further. 'Come on Lisa, even if you have to beg him.' And begging was fine with her, anything as long he came back to her.



She pulled a chair over to his bedside, sat down in it and looked at the heart monitor as it sounded it's continual beeping. She looked down at him. 'He looks so pale', she thought, and she took his right hand in hers. 'And he feels so cold.' Her heart pounded as hard as it ever had anytime in her life.



"Rick can you hear me? Jean says that you lost a lot of blood, and you need to be strong and fight to come back to us. They had to do some pretty major surgery, they had to take your spleen, but everything went as well as can be expected." She could feel the pain in her heart leak into her voice, but she was powerless to stop it.



As the tears once again traveled downward from her eyes, she spoke to him. "Rick, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry this happened. Please forgive me." She looked to his face, which had remarkably avoided any injury, and watched for a sign that he had heard her.



She saw none. With Miriya's words echoing in her mind, she thought, 'Okay Lisa.keep going. You've got to tell him.'



Lisa brought his hand up to her lips and kissed it tenderly, then brought his hand to her chest and held it there.



"Rick, what you saw was.Rick it was an accident." She shook her head and whispered more to herself than to him, "No, that sounds so stupid." She cleared her throat and tried again. "It was.", she searched and searched for the right word, 'Mistake.no, unintentional.no', "Rick I don't know what it was. I didn't mean for it to happen, I didn't want it to happen.I never asked him."



'I'm babbling', she thought as she bit her bottom lip in frustration and contemplation. 'Just tell him what happened.'



"I was thinking of how much I missed you. I locked myself in my office so that I could finish my work and get home to be with you." She looked at Rick and could imagine him smiling at the thought of her locking herself up.



"The damn communicator kept going off. First it was Jean, then it was the galley, then it was." The realization hit her squarely in the chest and she suddenly felt very ill. "Oh my God.then you called, and I was so frustrated at being interrupted again that I snapped at you and cut the channel." She had to work very hard to keep from breaking down and screaming. "I was going to call you back, Rick, I swear, but I decided to get through those reports so I could make it up to you in person." Several tears escaped her effort to keep them from falling. "You have to believe me", she whispered.



She marshaled her strength and through a complete force of will regained control. "I even turned off the communicator on my desk after you called so that I could get through the reports I had left." She closed her eyes and laughed. "Do you believe that Rick? I actually turned it off."



She tightened her grip on his hand, opened her eyes and continued. "I got through them and I started thinking about you, daydreaming about you really. I called the Sit. Room to see if you were going to be heading home soon."



This was the first chance she had actually had to go over the events of the day, so again realization sprouted as she talked. ".But you were gone. You were gone out in the Alpha.of course." She shook her head slowly, marveling at the morbid sense of fate. She swallowed the lump that had appeared in her throat and said quietly, "That's when Stevens came in to give me his report on.", she still couldn't remember what his report was about, ".I can't remember." She rubbed his hand against her cheek, closed her eyes and continued. "I was so tired, Rick, and I actually dozed off sitting up on the couch with a report in my hand."



"I only dozed for a second, and when I did I dreamed of you. I kept seeing those blue eyes that always make me feel so safe and happy, and then I dropped that report. I woke up and reached for it, but so did he and his hand landed on mine."



She opened her eyes and put his hand against her chest again. "When I looked at him, Rick, it was your eyes that I saw, and when I felt his hand it was your hand I felt."



Lisa took a deep breath to calm herself as she remembered. "When he kissed me, I thought it was you. I knew that something didn't feel right, but I assumed that it was because it had been so long since we had kissed and been together like that."



She brought his hand to her lips again, and after kissing it she left it there so that when she spoke her lips brushed against his hand. "I.when I felt his arms it felt so wrong, and I stopped the kiss and looked at him. I was horrified, Rick. I.I jumped up, managed to get to my desk and did up my uniform. I was so embarrassed for falling asleep in the first place, and flabbergasted by what had happened, by what I had done.I apologized.I just wanted him to leave."



She took a deep shaky breath and wiped the tears from her face and eyes. 'I must sound like a raving loon', it occurred to her. 'I don't know if I would believe this story if someone told it to me.'



She put their combined hands on the bed next to him and she leaned over to caress his cheek. "I went home and after I pulled myself together, I called the Sit. Room, but you had asked not to be disturbed." She closed her eyes and bowed her head. "You knew. I waited and was going to call your office.but I was so damned tired. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until almost 7."



She raised her eyes to look at him again. "When I read your note, I ran to flight control to talk to you." Lisa squeezed Rick's hand and gently laid her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Rick. Please believe me.please come back to me. Miriya says that the Zentraedi believe that wounded warriors can hear people who talk to them. Please hear me, Rick.I don't know how to live without you."



She sniffed and said quietly, "I recognized your flight path." She closed her eyes and smiled as the memories of her second honeymoon flooded her mind. "You were going to Planetia Colony."



Lisa raised her head up and looked at him for any signs of.life. 'He still looks so pale', she thought sadly. She stood up without letting go of his hand. "Rick, I have never begged you to do anything in my life.but I'm begging you now. Don't leave, Rick. Please."



She reached down and gave his lips a gentle kiss, and leaned back to look at him.



'Did his jaw just tense?' Her heart began to pound again, this time in hope and anticipation.



She reached down and gave him another tender kiss, for a little longer this time. She moved back and searched his face for any signs of awareness. Disappointment began to creep into her soul when his mouth opened.not much, but enough to notice.



Tears gathered in her eyes again as one more time she leaned down and kissed her husband. As their lips touched, she repeated in her mind, 'Please.please.please.'











State = Continuará/To Be Continue

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