fanfic_name = The Bachelor Party

author = Dwparsnip

dedicate = All the guys out there.

Rating = AP15

Type = Humor

fanfic = Captain Rick Hunter was sitting in a chair in the front part of the gymnasium on the Monument Command Base, holding a scotch on the rocks in his hand as he listened to Commander Max Sterling babble on about the many responsibilities that he had as Rick's Best Man.



Rick still wasn't sure how he got roped into attending this particular function. All he could remember was Max saying something about it being traditional and he couldn't miss his own bachelor party.



He remembered a week earlier:

**********

Rick shut down his plane's systems after finishing yet another routine patrol. He flicked off the last switch and thought, 'I'm getting married in ten days.'



As his veritech's canopy rose up, he looked across the tarmac, saw his best friend already out of his own blue and white Skull 2, and heading towards his Skull 1. Max Sterling had the slyest grin on his face, and Rick was sure that he could see the glint in Max's eyes through his blue tint aviator glasses. 'I so don't want a bachelor party', he thought to himself. 'But, with all the death and destruction over the last few months, who am I to put the brakes on a party.' It was a thought he had often since he first got wind of Max's bachelor party. Ever since Khyron's final attack, all he wanted to do was spend time with the woman he loved. He still had to pinch himself every once in a while to make sure the whole thing wasn't a dream. Thinking of Lisa now made his heart ache at her absence. 'I can't believe I love her so much. I haven't seen her since yesterday morning and it's like a part of me is on vacation or something.'



"Why don't you just go and see her, Boss", came a voice full of humor.



Rick looked down at Max, who was now standing next to Skull 1. He had a knowing look on his face, and as Rick unbuckled his harness he continued, "Seriously Rick, go see her and get it out of your system. You haven't seen her in almost twenty- four hours."



'It's so annoying when he knows what I'm thinking', thought Rick. To Max he said, "I have no idea what you're talking about, Commander." He began to climb down out of his veritech, not wanting Max to see the grin on his face.



Max laughed loudly, drawing glances from the flight crew that was waiting to service Skull 1. "Come on Rick, I know what it's like. Besides, only Lisa could get you to smile like you were just smiling." He laughed again when he saw Rick screw up his nose. "And I'm willing to bet it was Lisa you were thinking about when you almost overshot the runway."



Rick blushed at the mention of his near oversight. He had indeed been thinking about Lisa as he approached the runway, and he did indeed almost overshoot it. As they began the walk towards the building that housed the pilot's locker rooms, Rick looked at Max and said seriously, "Max, how did I end up with a woman like Lisa?"



Max nodded his head and looked at his watch. "Right on time", he said playfully. He saw Rick's confused look and said, "Ten days until your wedding. I've been waiting for the doubts to surface. I must admit, you held out longer than I thought."



Rick stopped Max by placing his left hand on Max's shoulder. He faced his friend and said in a confident voice, "Don't get me wrong Max. I don't doubt that I love Lisa, and I don't doubt that I want to marry her. I love her more than anything, Max." He patted Max's shoulder and started walking again, and as Max caught up to him he continued. "I just keep wondering what I did to deserve such a beautiful, intelligent, strong and caring woman like Lisa in my life."



Max smiled. "I'm not sure you did anything to deserve it Rick." He knew it sounded wrong as soon as he said it, and when he realized Rick wasn't by his side anymore he stopped. He turned around to see Rick looking at him with his arms folded across his chest and an annoyed look on his face. Max stammered, "That is.well that came out wrong.what I meant to say was.."



When Rick lowered his arms and smiled, Max calmed down and tried again. "What I meant, Boss, was that she loves you for who you are, end of story. If you feel you have to do something to deserve her love, you can say that you were yourself. And that's enough."



Rick thought for second about what Max said. "You really think so, Max?"



Max nodded emphatically. "Absolutely. You have no reason to question anything, Rick. All that matters is that you love her and she loves you."



They began walking again, and as they approached the locker room, Max said excitedly, "So are you ready for the party?"



Rick stifled the sigh that wanted to escape. He had been to many bachelor parties over the years, and he had even organized a few. The constant themes of a pilot's bachelor party were the not so accurate telling of war stories, booze and the ever popular stripper, or strippers. The number of strippers depended on who was organizing the party. He felt neither the need or desire to tell lies, get drunk and watch a strange woman get undressed as she danced to funky music. Another undesirable constant of the pilot bachelor party was that someone always got so drunk, that someone else always ended up with a black eye.



Sensing Rick's hesitation, Max opened the door and said in a disappointed voice, "It's okay if you don't want to do it, Rick. The ladies have got their plans for Lisa, maybe we could just take in a movie or something, or get a couple of guys together and play some poker. Whatever you want to do, Boss."



Hearing the disappointment in his friend's voice, Rick said resignedly, "No Max, we'll go through with it."



Max slapped Rick's shoulder and said happily, "Good. The bachelor party is almost as important as the wedding. It's a tradition, and you couldn't miss it any more than you could miss the wedding. Besides, I'd hate to have to call everyone and cancel."



Rick began to take off his flight suit and eyed Max suspiciously. "How many people do you have coming to this?"



Max sat on the bench and shifted uncomfortably after taking off his boots. "Well Boss, let me put it this way. We were supposed to have it in the party room of the Officer's Club, right?"



Rick narrowed his eyes and said warily, "Yes."



Max got up and slowly edged his way towards one of the showers, and when he reached it he said quickly, "Well, now we're having it in the base's gymnasium." He jumped into the shower avoiding the balled up towel that Rick had thrown at him.

**********

Rick came back to the present when he heard Max say, "In closing, I'd like to take this opportunity to say this on the record to my best friend." He lifted his glass in a salute and said, "Boss, you are a wonderful person, and you're marrying a wonderful lady." Max grinned and finished with, "Don't screw it up!"



The gym erupted in laughter, and even Rick genuinely smiled as he lifted his glass to Max and took a drink from it. Unfortunately, the evening had gone how he had expected. The temporary bar that had been set up was almost depleted, and he had already heard five completely different versions of one particular story.



A chant came from behind him, a chant that made his skin go cold.



"Speech. speech. speech. speech.."



He got up and made his way to the stage that had been set up by Max and his merry little band of bachelor party elves. He didn't know how many favors Max had called in to do this, but he had to admit that Max had pulled it off in style. He looked out at the crowd and realized that the gym was almost full.



Max handed him the microphone and stepped back, letting Rick have the stage.



It was as Rick took the microphone from Max that he noticed he was really sweating. He cleared his throat and began. "Well, first of all, I'd like to thank everyone for coming and sharing in what according to Max is my special day." The crowd broke out in laughter, and Rick went on. "Second, let's all give Max a big hand for organizing this little soiree." Rick placed the microphone under his arm and clapped along with the crowd.



Ever the ham, Max stepped forward and did his best theater bow. When he stepped back, Rick continued. "Lastly, I won't screw it up and enjoy the party."



The gymnasium again filled with laughter, whistles and applause as Rick and Max walked to the end of the stage and started down the stairs. When they got back down to the floor, Rick looked at Max and said, "I've got to go to the little boy's room. Keep things going." Max nodded and he headed for the bathroom. He went inside and shut the door.



He knew that the next step in the proceedings would be the entertainment, and he really felt no desire to be entertained. All he could think about was his beautiful bride to be, who he hadn't seen or talked to her since the previous afternoon when they said good-bye.



He looked at his watch. 'Almost 2300', he said thoughtfully. 'I wonder if she's still awake.' Miriya had Lisa's bachelorette party set up for the following night, and Lisa seemed to really be looking forward to it.



He heard the music start up and he peeked out the door to see three ladies on the stage dancing around to the music. He shuddered when he saw a piece of clothing fly into the crowd and closed the door again.



He waited several minutes before he decided he had to go back out, and when he put his hand on the door handle, he heard an increase in the clapping and whistling.



It dawned on him. 'They aren't missing me at all!' He looked around and found the window. He walked up to it and thought, 'It'll be tight, but I'll get through there.'



He pulled over the garbage can, got up on it and opened the window. He lifted himself up and started to wiggle out through it, and got about half way when he heard the door open and Max ask, "Are you okay in here, Boss?"



Rick cursed to himself as he heard Max laugh, and he felt Max put his hand on his foot. "You know, Rick, all you had to do was say you wanted to go. Trust me, they don't care out there."



Rick laughed and said, "Shut up and give me push, Max." He felt Max take a hold of his feet and push.



Rick yelled, "Not so hard!", even as he flew out the window, landing hard on the concrete walkway below the window.



As he sat up and took stock of his physical health, he heard Max ask form the window, "Are you okay, Rick?"



Rick looked up and saw Max looking at him with genuine concern on his face. He smiled and said, "I'm fine, Max. Thanks for the push."



"No problem, Rick." Before Rick knew it, Max was half way out the window himself. Max looked at Rick and asked pleasantly, "Catch me if I fall?"



Rick laughed as he got up. He moved to Max, put his hands under Max's shoulders, and helped him out.



As they both brushed themselves off, Rick said to Max, "Aren't they going to get upset if we both leave?"



Max looked at Rick with his best neutral expression and asked, "Do we care?"



Rick smiled and said truthfully, "I don't."



"Me either", responded Max. "Besides, Barclay and Hartman are in there. They'll look after things." He eyed Rick thoughtfully and said, "I assume you're not heading straight home, that maybe you're going to a certain Admiral's house."



"You assume correctly, old buddy." Rick began to walk in that direction. He stopped and turned around to face Max. "Max, thank you for all of this. For everything."



Max walked up to his friend and held out his hand. As Rick reached out and shook it he said, "It was my absolute pleasure. Now let's get out of here before they come and find us. See you tomorrow, Boss."



"Bye, Max."

------------------------------ ----

Ten minutes later, Rick stood on the step of the housing unit assigned to Admiral Lisa Hayes. There weren't any lights on, and he had his key, but he didn't really want to disturb Lisa if she was asleep.



He sat down on the step and leaned back, resting his back against the door. He just thought about Lisa, letting the random thoughts about her enter his mind in no particular order, with no real clear purpose other than just to think about her.



He thought about her hair, her lips, and her smile. He thought about her kindness and her strength. Everything he could think of about her was something to be admired, respected and loved. His only complaint was that she seemed to know him better than he knew himself, but that wasn't really a complaint. It usually came in handy.



He just leaned back hard against the door in an attempt to get up when the door suddenly opened. He went backwards, falling hard onto the floor of Lisa's house.



When the stars cleared from his eyes, he looked up to see Lisa looking down at him with a bemused look on her face. She had her robe on, and when he tilted his head back he looked into the two sets of eyes that belonged to her favorite pink bunny slippers.



He looked back up at her, smiled and said, "Hi baby. How are you?"



He heard her laugh softly as he picked himself up off the floor, and when he looked at her, her emerald eyes just glowed. "How long have you been sitting out here?", she asked.



Rick shrugged his shoulders and replied, "I have no idea." He looked deeper into her eyes and said quietly, "I've really missed you, Lisa."



She held out her hand and he took it in his own. She gently pulled him inside, and as he passed the threshold, he closed the door. He was just about to tell her that he loved her when, as he opened his mouth, she turned around, leaned in towards him and kissed him softly on the lips. As he returned her kiss, he felt her hands come up to hold his face, and he in turn slipped his arms around her waist. Their kiss became more passionate as the seconds ticked by, until their desires overcame all other thoughts and emotions.



Rick broke the kiss and put one arm across the back of hers knees and the other around her shoulders and in one fluid motion picked her up. As he carefully took her to the bedroom, she kissed his neck and flicked the bunny slippers off her feet to land on the floor. With practiced care, he laid her down on the bed and walked slowly to the other side. He laid down beside her and they picked up where they left off in the living room.



An hour later, Rick was lying on his back with his arm around Lisa, whose head rested on his bare chest. She lovingly kissed his chest and he in turn kissed the top of her head.



He sighed happily, and Lisa asked, "Everything okay Rick?"



He smiled and said, "Yep. I was just thinking, being with you is the best bachelor party I could ever have."



She laughed and looked up at him, and when he saw those radiant green eyes, he couldn't help but to say, "I love you Lisa Hayes."



She smiled the smile that always warmed his heart. "I love you too, Rick Hunter."







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