fanfic_name = Separate Lives
chapter = chapter 9
author = LisaV
Rating = O18
Type = Angst
fanfic = “What do you know, Rick?” Lisa asked after a long silence, forcing a light smile and sat up in her chair.
“How do feel about me?” He asked and caught her eyes, holding her gaze, refusing to let go.
“What?”
“How do you feel about me, Lisa?” Rick asked again, this time his voice was soft and gentle.
“I don’t understand what you’re trying to get at, Rick? What do you want me to say?”
At the question, she noticed that his firm mouth had pressed into a thin line but he didn’t say anything else back to her.
Silence fell between them.
“I want you to tell me that you love me, that you can’t live without me and that you’ll never leave me.” Rick said finally. “I’m in love with you, Lisa Hayes. These past two years have been hell without you.”
Lisa stared at him. Astonished. Shocked. Afraid.
She couldn’t help but noticed once again, that his handsome features were drawn and tight. And terribly unhappy.
His sadness twisted at her heartstrings and tears stung her eyes. She didn’t like seeing him this way. It hurt to see his unhappiness. She’d never meant to hurt him, only to protect him. She couldn’t look at him so she looked away.
“Why are you suddenly afraid, Lisa? He kept his voice soft, not making accusations, trying not to intimidate but to himself he sounded both accusatory and intimidating.
"You’re one of the strongest women I’ve ever met. You have strength, purpose, guts and could hold your own with anyone; including me.” Taking a long swallow of his tea, he continued.
“Did you know I made it my life’s mission to piss you off after our first meeting? I did it because your cool superiority grated my nerves like nothing I’ve ever felt before. Yet you fascinated me and that annoyed me because I didn’t want to know you. I didn’t have time for you. I didn’t join the RDF to become your friend or anything else. You weren’t my type with your superiority complex and frosty attitude. For a while there, I wasn’t even sure whether blood or ice ran through your veins.”
Lisa didn’t move a muscle but her cheeks burned and she didn’t know whether it was from embarrassment or anger. She drew four or five calming breaths, while mentally chiding herself for not realizing the risk she’d taken by meeting Rick.
“Then one night with you, Lisa and my life fell apart. My world turned upside down. Everything that I wanted before that night, I didn’t care about it any longer. All I could think about was you, your safety and your happiness. What happen? You left the SDF-1 a woman who wanted to be with me and came back a freaking ice queen all over again. What happen to you, Lisa?”
She wouldn’t cry, she told herself and fought for control. She had to be strong; she couldn’t go back. There was no turning back…
Lisa brushed the tears from her cheeks, then catching herself; she quickly tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. It was a poor attempt at nonchalance but it was the best she could think of at that moment and hoped Rick hadn’t noticed.
“I’m sorry if I hurt you, Rick," she said sympathetically as she turned to him now.
“You don’t know how sorry I am but nothing’s changed. You have to understand that I was under lot of stress, we both were that night, and weren’t thinking clearly. We just got caught in the moment…”
“Dammit! Lisa! What the--”
He saw her flinched and he stopped himself.
Calm down, Hunter! He told himself.
Breath, count to 10, slowly… don’t blow it! You need to be smart if you want to earn her trust and find out what the heck is going on.
“Haven’t you heard anything I’ve been saying to you, Lisa?” he asked and gave her a sad smile.
A smile that had her muscles in knots and her stomach churning. In vain she tried to control the irregular beat of her heart.
This was insanity!, Lisa told herself, drew in a breath and firming her resolve. She could overcome her feelings. Or ignore them. She had overcome much tougher situations in her life.
“Rick, I—“
Before she could finish, he shook his head. “Don’t apologize,” he said. His voice sounded ragged and harsh. “Whatever you do, don’t apologize.”
“I wasn’t going to.”
“Good. Because I don’t know what I’ll do, if you say you're sorry one more time.”
Silence.
“Do you regret being with me, Lisa?”
She met his gaze again. “Of course not! How can you think that, Rick?”
“Then, why?”
Taking a deep breath, Lisa threw all her acting skills into her speech.
“Rick, this is how I see it. Before that night, you barely knew I existed. Your world evolved around Minmei. She was the love of your life,” Lisa saw him shaking his head and stopped him before he could interrupt her. “Don’t deny it. You’ve said it often enough and to anyone who would listen.”
God, how he hated that cool, superior tone of hers!
He watched as she pushed her tea away from her, to the side before she continued.
“Against my better judgment, I came to see you. I listened to what you have to say. Now, it’s your turn to listen to what I have to say and I hope after this, we can move on.”
“I’m listening,” Rick said dryly. “I can hardly wait,” he added before he could stop himself.
The sarcasms in his voice angered and depressed her at the same time. Staring at him, Lisa felt the full measure of his pain and bitterness, like a weight against her heart. With a heavy sigh, Lisa began.
“You can’t be in love me, Rick, for you don’t know me. You didn’t know me then-- two years ago, and you don’t know me now. A lot has changed in my life since that night. I’ve grown up.”
“Is that a fact?”
“Yes, it’s a fact. And do you know how I know you’re not in love with me then or now?”
The quietness in her voice was now replaced by an intensity that took his breath away and he couldn’t hold her gaze.
Rick squeezed his eyes shut and waited breathlessly for the axe. She was scaring him witless (shitless?) now and he didn’t know what to do or what to say to protect himself or her.
“I know because you don’t know what love is. You only want what you can’t have, Hunter. You’ll never be happy with what you got. That’s not love, Rick. That’s childish, self-centered and selfish. You haven’t grown up at all. You’re still the same old Rick chasing after Minmei because you can’t have her. Now you’re turning that chase to me because I’m engaged to Khyron.”
Looking at him, so subdued and beaten by her twisted words, Lisa knew she had to get out of there—quick! Or she would not be able to hold back the tears that had welled against the backs of her eyes, in her chest and throat.
She quickly got up and had taken a couple of steps away from the table already when she heard him.
“I’m not a liar, Lisa,” he said softly, the words edged with steel. “Don’t ever again tell me that I don’t love you.”
Stifling a sob, Lisa squared her shoulders and walked out of the café without glancing back.
000000000000000000000000000
“Captain Hayes, may I have a word with you?” Admiral Gloval stopped Lisa as she was on her way to her car, two weeks after her midnight meeting with Rick.
“Admiral,” Lisa smiled up at him when he caught up to her, “why the sudden formality? You’ve always called me Lisa, before.”
“Ummm.. yes, Lisa,” Gloval said, “I wanted to ask you how soon you think the construction of the SDF-2 can begin. I know what you said in the briefing early today but…”
“You want my personal opinion?” Lisa finished his sentence for him and he nodded.
“Everything is finalized, Sir. We can begin construction tomorrow if needed. There is nothing wrong with the blueprint and we have the resources. I estimated a month in the briefing because I needed to find a way to work around Admiral Chambers and Howard. You know, Admiral, how against they are with us building the SDF-2.”
Lisa saw the Admiral nod and she continued.
“They believe that the resources should go towards building Earth’s defense. Basically they want to use the resources to build another grand canon, this one, much more powerful than the one my father had built. They blame my father for underestimating the enemy’s strength and for letting Dolza’s fleet almost destroying Earth.”
“I wouldn’t worry about them, Lisa. Chambers and Howard are reasonable men but they don’t respond well to long term plans or stepping out of the box they’ve built around themselves. I’ll talk to them. I’m sure sooner or later they will come around.”
“No,” Lisa said and stopped walking.
“Thank you, Admiral, but I want to handle this. I can’t keep running to you to solve all my problems for me. And you can’t hold my hands forever, Sir, as much as I want you to. I think it’s about time, I play some dirty politics, I mean what good is it to be the Ambassador of the Liaison between humans and Zentraedi if I can’t even influence two grumpy old men to let me build a ship? Especially, when most of the resources are coming from Breetai…”
“How are you, Lisa?”
Admiral Gloval’s question out of the blue caused her to pause and Lisa lost her train of thought.
“I’m… I’m fine. Why? Is there something wrong, sir?”
“No, nothings wrong. I’m just concerned…”
“Everything’s fine,” Lisa interrupted and glanced around to make sure there were no one else around that could over hear them. “I can handle it, Admiral. If I didn’t think I could, I wouldn’t have agreed.”
Admiral Gloval didn’t say anything. He just indicated that they should start walking again. When they reached her car he asked her if she’d like to get away from Macross for a couple of days.
“Depends, sir, whether it’s business or pleasure?”
“Business” Gloval answered.
“I’m listening,” Lisa said and looked interested.
“We’ve received Intel that Azonia is on the move again. Two days ago, she destroyed a whole village on the borders of what used to be Colombia and Venezuela because the village had refused to pay her protection fees. Everyone and everything in the village was destroyed. No one survived.”
“Oh my god!” Lisa exclaimed in horror. “She’d always given me the impression that she could be cruel but I never dreamed she could be such a monster.”
Damned, how I wish now that I’d never asked Khyron to save her when her ship was destroyed by Dolza.
“I should have let her die with her ship and crew! Khyron was right in his assessment of her. She’s a cold-blooded-bitch through and through.”
Lisa was so angry that she hadn’t realized what she’d just said and in front of Admiral Gloval too. She was so horrified that she wished the Earth would open up and sallow her there and then.
“That’s why I need you to go down to South America,” Gloval said without a trace of surprise in his tone or mannerism that he’d heard her colorful language. “With your knowledge of her and what she’s capable off…”
“I accept, Admiral,” Lisa said without letting Gloval finished. “I’ll make the necessary arrangements first thing tomorrow morning and you’ll get a daily report from me once I’m there.”
Getting into her car, Lisa closed the door and was going to turn on the ignition when Gloval stopped her.
“Lisa, your mission, is to gather information. Do not go after her yourself or put yourself in any unnecessary danger! Are we clear?”
“Yes, perfectly, Admiral!”
00000000000000000000000
“At ease, Lieutenant,” Lisa said as she walked into her office and Miriya Sterling stood up to salute her.
Closing the door to her office, she turned the lock and stared at Miriya Sterling for a good long minute. She hadn’t seen Miriya since their deep space mission to retrieve the Protoculture Chamber eight months ago.
As usual, Miriya was Miriya—beautiful, focused and no-nonsense when it came to work. She was without a doubt, the perfect solider.
“Thank you for coming to see me on such a short notice, Miriya. How are you?” Lisa asked in Zentraedi and Miriya smiled. A smiled that lit up her beautiful face and made her green eyes sparkled like jewels.
“You’ve been studying,” she said as Lisa sat down and gestured for her to do the same. “What else have you been studying?”
“Everything… history, language and war,” Lisa said with distaste in her voice at the word ‘war’.
“Tell me, how is Dana?” She asked, changing the topic.
“Wonderful. She’s such a ball of energy that Max and I have to work extra hard just to keep up with her. She has Max wrapped around her little finger and she knows it too. I never imagine life could be this beautiful,” Miriya said, and Lisa could feel the happiness in her voice. How she envied Miriya.
“Then you’re going to hate me for dragging you away from her,” Lisa grinned. “But I need you.”
Miriya only shrugged and Lisa proceed to give her the short version of everything she’d learned about Azonia and her recent attacks. When she was finished, Miriya had an angry look on her face.
“When do we leave?” she asked.
“Two hours. Will you be ready?”
“Yes.”
0000000000000000000000000
Miriya gave her a concern look. “You can’t blame yourself, Lisa.”
“We’ve been here three days and I’ve learned nothing more than what I came here with,” Lisa said as she stared at the death and destruction in front of her. “She has to be stopped, Miriya. This waste of lives is beyond unacceptable… it’s, it’s intolerable!”
With her shoulders sagged, Lisa fought not to clamp one hand over her mouth when she saw that even the babies were killed and burned. The urge to crawl off and empty her stomach was almost as strong as the rage slowly building.
Turning away, Lisa made her way back to the ship Miriya had borrowed from New Haven Base to fly them there. Anger pounded through her with every step, knotting to her chest until she could barely breathe, feeding her hatred.
“I’m sick and tired of waiting for Commander Mak to find the time or resources to send scouts out to give me the information I need.” Getting into the back seat with ease, Lisa put on her helmet as Miriya climbed into the front and did the same.
“Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you intimidate him, Lisa,” Miriya said matter-a-factly.
“The man has a brain the size of a pea. He’s giving me the run around because his ego is bruised. He thinks Admiral Gloval has sent me down here to take over his command. And just for that alone I should report him but I’m going to hang him now for his negligent of duty today. It was his duty to protect these people yet he deliberately stalled and waited until it was too late.”
“I second that,” Miriya said as she busied herself to taxi off.
“Before we return to New Haven, Miriya, I want to do a fly by the area where her base is supposed to be. Do you think you could get us close enough without getting us shot down?”
Miriya turned back to Lisa and gave her an offended look for an answer and Lisa grinned.
00000000000000000000000000
She crept to the front of the cave, and then darted into the shadows of the surrounding foliage. The first raindrops fell as lightning split the sky directly overhead. The air sizzled with the electric charge, while the brilliance momentarily robbed her of her night vision. She rubbed her eyes, drew a breath then dashed to where Miriya was.
Drawing a small collapsible grapping hook from her backpack, Miriya moved slightly to the south end of the opening of the cave. It took two swings before she was able to anchor the hook over the rock-hard mountain side. She tested it to make sure it was satisfyingly solid then waited, listening for some hint of discovery.
When none came, she pulled on a pair of gloves and started up the knotted rope while Lisa kept a watch from below. The climbing wasn’t particularly difficult, though the rain stung her face and the wind made the rope sway.
Lisa watched as Miriya made her way up the rope to the landing on top. She had made the climb look easy and Lisa hoped it was. She had always kept in shape and had taken to training with Breetai and sometimes Khyron twice a week but since she’d come back to Earth, she hadn’t have time to do anything but work, sleep and more work.
Lisa was almost within reach of the landing when an explosion sounded nearby, sending bright light and showers of sparks into the night sky. Not wasting anytime, she shimmied up the last few feet of rope, hauled herself over, and then couched down with Miriya.
“What was that?” Miriya whispered once she finished gathering up the grappling hook and rope and tucking it behind some bushes and rocks.
“Not sure, but whatever it was, there was enough firepower in it to blow up a city.”
Guided by instincts, they made their way across the landing and to a small tunnel that would lead inside, strait into where it was believed to be Azonia’s headquarter.
State = Continuará/To Be Continue
feedback = Sí/Yes
email = lisa_vangATmsn.com