Fanfic Name / Nombre del Fanfic: One Song for Two Hearts
Chapter / Capitulo: chapter 13
Author / Autor: clo
Rating / Clasificacion: AP15 (For Teenagers = Para Adolescentes)
Romance
Fanfic: Chapter 13 – You’ll See (Madona) / Creep (Radiohead)
Lisa
Lisa has been living with Claudia since the incident; she has no desire to return home, way too many memories are waiting for her there. She is standing in front of the bathroom mirror, just staring at own reflex and replaying over and over in her mind that first morning after she tried to drawn herself in a bottle of vodka.
FLASHBACK
She doesn’t know what bother her the most, the headache caused by the handover, the emptiness she feels in her chest, or the odd sensation of having her heart living in her stomach, but something is crystal clear she wouldn’t be able to initiate the day without Claudia right by her side.
Literally her best friend forced her to get up of the bed, to have a bath, to dress and finally she is supervising her breakfast, the one of course she prepared.
– Claudia don’t bother, really I’m not hungry
– How are you going to survive the hangover you have with an empty stomach
– I don’t know, but what I really need is two aspirins, I can stand my head…
– Don’t you want a vodka for your eggs
– Unless you want to redecorate your kitchen
– Let’s leave as it is, shall we… I cannot imagine the quantity of alcohol you drank to puke like that, I felt like if we were in an scene from the Exorcist
– Funny… my throat still hurts for the effort
– And be grateful, I felt magnanimous this morning, and I didn’t pull what my mum used to do to us when we had too much to drink…
– What?
– Pancakes soak in maple syrup
– God… that’s torture
– Yeah my mum was so sweet…
– Kind of evil
– That’s the best kind of mums… well the lesson to be learned today is… not to drink when you are depress
– And definitely less than the industrial quantity I had….
– Have you figured out your next move
– Hide…
– Come on you are so much braver than that
– Not when it comes to the heart, do you remember the state I was when Karl died
– Not worst than mine when Roy died…
– No you took it so calmly as if you were expecting it
– Part of me was… when you date a military; being one yourself, know the hazards of the career you chose.
– Don’t you have regrets
– About Roy and me
– Yeah, I mean I was a kid when Karl died, have a lot of silly dreams, but you two have a life planned together
– Yeah we had, the only thing I regret is not having a baby, a beautiful baby with my skin tone and his eyes.
– Killing combination if you ask me, Roy’s arrogances and your common sense, almost perfect
– I will always regret not getting pregnant, we talked about it thousand of times before the Zentraedi invasion, we wanted two kids, a boy and a girl, a house in the suburbs and a dog, but when the war started there wasn’t much time for those plans and then he was gone.
– Claudia, I
– John Lennon once said that life is what happens when you are doing other plans.
– And all you need is love
– Don’t laugh, you’re a fettle…
– A what
– A Beatle fetus… anyway, Lisa plans are that just plans, if you don’t do anything about them they will never be more than sweets dreams that could become beautiful realities. If you want something to happen you have to work for it. If Roy and I wouldn’t think that we had our whole lives in front of us, at least now I would have something else than our memories together, I would have a little person that would make him immortal.
– Immortal – repeats Lisa thoughtful
– The only possible manner – “if I only got pregnant by Rick, at least that wouldn’t be taken away by Minmei, yeah a beautiful girl with his eyes and my hair, his smile in my lips”
– I know what are you thinking, but in your case there still hope of having the whole deal, not only a souvenir
– Claudia, really what’s the special ingredient you put in of your morning coffee, you are so positive all the time, if you have some happy weed in your backyard…
– I don’t need nothing to be positive and you know it
– I have never understand how can you continue with that attitude, despite all the shitty things in your life
– I would be dead otherwise, and I owe that to Roy… I’m going to do all the things he couldn’t, I’m going to live every day of my life for him and me
– I feel so selfish, so self center for suffering as I’m doing over something so silly
– Love is not silly
– Yeah but you lost the love of your life, he died… I just wasn’t able to make mine fall for me as I fall for him
– That’s what you think, soon or later he will realize that platonic love and true love are not the same, and that’s Minmei and you.
– And how can you be sure I’m not the platonic one
– The fact he is not an idiot around you
– I thought that being an idiot over someone was a unmistakable sign that someone is head over heels for you
– One of them, but it has to be completed by the wish of being someone better for the other person and that’s what Rick feels, since you are together he has improved so much, Roy would be proud.
– You know… I don’t want to think about Rick, at least not until I have to face it
– Coward, ok for that is your turn to wash the dishes
END OF THE FLASHBACK
“How to do it… I faced him yesterday and I almost fainted, why my feelings for you are so strong Rick”.
She pays attention to the song playing, music is now a need for her, it kind of helps her to keep her mind occupied in something else than Rick, that song really likes her and decides to replay it, starts to sing along.
You think that I can't live without your love
You'll see,
You think I can't go on another day.
You think I have nothing
Without you by my side,
You'll see
Somehow, some way
“Probably you do think I won’t be able to follow through without you, but I will… believe me Rick I will continue”
You think that I can never laugh again
You'll see,
You think that you destroyed my faith in love.
You think after all you've done
I'll never find my way back home,
You'll see
Somehow, someday
All by myself
I don't need anyone at all
I know I'll survive
I know I'll stay alive,
All on my own
I don't need anyone this time
It will be mine
No one can take it from me
You'll see
“I will laugh again, and will find love because I still believe on it… I won’t hide again behind her, not even you will take that away”.
You think that you are strong, but you are weak
You'll see,
It takes more strength to cry, admit defeat.
I have truth on my side,
You only have deceit
You'll see, somehow, someday
“No Minmei you didn’t win, I’ll find someone and he will love me, keep him, I don’t want someone so confuse beside me, someday he will see you and realize that he misses me, but it will be too late”.
All by myself
I don't need anyone at all
I know I'll survive
I know I'll stay alive,
I'll stand on my own
I won't need anyone this time
It will be mine
No one can take it from me
You'll see
You'll see, you'll see
You'll see, mmmm, mmmm
“It would be so great if I truly believe on this… you’ll see I’ll survive, I’m still alive, I’ll stand on my own, I won’t need anyone by my side… well except Claudia and of course you”.
Rick
Two nights in the row and counting, Rick has two nights without a good sleep, the day before he pulled something in his neck for sleeping on the couch and now he has a funny sensation… Moral handover
He is not familiar with the fact of sleeping with someone, well having sex for just having sex, much less after all he went through with Lisa, but the worst of all is the fact that Minmei continues there laying next to him, with her head over his chest, she kept that position all night and when he tried to move she hold him harder to avoid him to be away from her, Lisa wouldn’t never even think about it, in fact he was the one avoiding her to escape, to be just one centimeter away from him.
“That’s ancient history Hunter, after what happened yesterday I doubt she will even talk to you, she is really pissed off” – Minmei moves and her long hair itches his nose, why he never felt like that with Lisa – “What I’m doing with my life, not less than two weeks ago, Lisa and I made love and was awesome, but no I have to follow my stupid childish dreams, now that I supposedly get all I always wanted it doesn’t feel not even half of good it felt being with that neurotic red hair”.
His thoughts are interrupted by a kiss in his neck
– Good morning handsome
– Morning
– Did you sleep well
– Yeah – “not really… you are way too heavy, your hair itches, you hold the covers and take too much space in bed”.
– Me too, you know it has been a while since I haven’t slept this good, I feel so protect in your arms
– Glad to hear – “and I… well it has been a while since I had such a bad night”
– Let’s stay in bed the whole day
– I can’t, my shift starts at 1400
– At what???
– 2 pm – he forgot that she is a civilian, “Lisa needs no explanations about military slang, probably her family invented it”
– The world won’t collapse if you miss one shift, isn’t it
– Yesterday I get into battle late, and that changed a lot of things, maybe if I would arrive on time I could be able to stop them earlier and avoid so much destruction
– One single pilot doesn’t change the way of things
– One single pilot can change a lot Minmei, one single person can be the difference between wining or losing, and you above all people should understand it – “how can our survival depends on someone so childish and selfish as you”
– Ok, don’t bite my head off, there’s still time to have a great morning – says while starts to approach him very sexy
– I’m sorry babe but I really need to regain strength – says while as gently as he can stands up – I’m going to take a bath, you stay in bed, enjoy the blessings of being a civilian – “and if it is not too much to ask leave before I come out the shower”.
– Do you need a hand
– Minmei, I need to put myself together, yesterday I faced an extremely hard battle and then you… I – “I made a huge mistake” but he cannot continue, he is not able to hurt her, he approaches and kisses her on the forehead – I’m sorry but I have to focus on the reconstruction work we have ahead and in hunting dammed Khyron
– Ok, I’ll be here
He takes his uniform, underwear and something else from his drawer, enters the bathrooms and locks the door, actually he has more than enough time to be in bed with her but he doesn’t want to continue making mistakes, this particular one could cost him more than he is willing to pay.
He sits on the toilet to think and takes out what he took and hid in this clothes, a pair of silk ivory panties – “Lisa” – turns the radio on, and the song fits what’s he is feeling… he is feeling like a complete looser.
When you were here before,
Couldn't look you in your eye
You're just like an angel,
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fucking special
But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here
He plays with the panties in his hands – “God Lisa what have I done… I should notice it, I should notice you were not ok, that you were not happy. Now you could be the one in my bed and I wouldn’t be here seated on my toilet, freezing my ass and caressing your panties… but I’m such an imbecile, a fool that followed a hard on, she shouldn’t be out there on my bed, she should be on tour with Kyle, I shouldn’t be here but waking up with you on my arms”
I don't care if it hurts,
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
when I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here, ohhhh, Ho
“Do you misses me when I’m not around, do you really notice when I’m not there in the whole people following you, you never gave me a sign that we are something else than friends, always running, hiding, maybe it’s not entirely my fault… come one Hunter be honest, she has 10% of the guilt, the other 90% is all yours, you chasing that pipe wet dream that Minmei has been since day one”
She's running out again
She's running out
She run run run run...
run...
Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here
“Now Lisa is gone and I feel that is for good, she is not going to forgive me this and with my good neighbor Marcusson, the whole base will find out that Minmei spent the night again with me, Lisa… how can you forgive this fool that doesn’t belong to your perfect world”
He gets into the shower and lets the cold water to run over his body, thinking “I don’t belong in her perfect world”.
I don't belong here...
“If Lisa finds out about this she won’t forgive, what are you talking about Hunter of course Lisa knows about this, she knew it before it happened, that’s why she was so mad. She always knows what you are going to do, she knows you better than yourself, she knew that soon or later you would do something idiotic like this, that’s why she kept her distance, because in the first chance you would have you will blow it, and congratulations dude, you excel”.
“But is not only you Lisa, I mean you’re 80%, but I also changed, I’m not the same little spoiled boy I used to, I’m not the guy in the yellow flightsuit that called you talking weasel through the tacnet, he died little by little, one part when the war started, other when Ben died, mostly when Roy left, and the tiny piece left you made it grow to become in this man so confused than wishes to be more”.
“I don’t want the little diva playing to the goddess and giving crumbles of her time, I don’t want to be the envy of all mankind by having her on my bed, I want what Roy had with Claudia, a real woman, someone to have a family with, someone that shares my hobbies, that challenges me, that inspires me to be more than I’m, that complete me, I though it could be Lisa, but I wanted to play with faith. I miss having her here telling me that she cannot do something else while helps me to bath”.
“On the other hand, I don’t wish to hurt Minmei, I guess I gave her a wrong message last night, but what difference does it makes, I don’t think Lisa will return, if I once had her, if Minmei wish to stay by my side at least I wouldn’t be alone, maybe I can help her to grow up in the same way Lisa helped me, yes I could make her grow as a person and maybe complete each other”
Chilled water is hurting him, but he doesn’t want to follow his libido, he wants Minmei, there’s never been a doubt about it, but now he doesn’t know if he loves her or only cares for her as a friend, actually he doesn’t know with which one of them is in love and for which he feels a brotherly love.
“Ironic…. Most the times after being with Lisa part of me thinks I was just with her to avoid to be alone, while Minmei returns to my life, but now she is here I’m not that sure”
Minmei is in bed without believe it, her suspects are being confirmed, he is not the same, he doesn’t belong to her anymore, and she knows who is taking him away from her – “that red hair bitch, the one always with him, I’m sure she is the one stealing him from me” – she sits on the bed without covering her naked body – “no, I cannot blame her, I did this… we both did it, we grew in different directions, he became a military because he had to, and I chose to dedicate my life to make others happy, to inspire others with my voice, I should stay and make Rick happy instead of devoting myself to so many people I don’t even meet”
“To make happy persons that don’t give a flying fuck about me, some of them don’t een know what’s my favorite kind of food. I’m just a pretty singing face, I’m their fantasy… they sleep with Gilda and wake up with me, Rita Hayworth was so right, Kyle never understood me, he knew how to treat the artist but how to deal with the woman, I think he never saw in that way, we started as cousins, then he become my manager and finally end up as lovers, but Rick he always saw the woman, he loved me even before I become famous…”
“No, I cannot give up, I can still change the things and devote myself to him, of course that I can make him happier that the old hag from the army, I mean I’m Lynn Minmei and don’t think that any man will chose her over me, much less Rick”
Lisa
A jeep is driving on Macross’ main street, the two women on it are in silence, both remembering that person they lost and Lisa, who’s driving, hates herself for being so selfish for not stopping for a minute and think of how much her best friend must suffer, she lost the love of her life, the man that was going to be with her forever, the one she was going to have babies and grow up, the one, not childish love or an un-required love.
– Claudia… - says suddenly
– Yes – she takes a while to answer, Claudia Grant doesn’t desire to leave her memories
– I just wanted to tell you that I’ll be lost without you
– I know that
– No, really my life would be a mess if you weren’t here
– Probably you wouldn’t start anything with Rick and your hear wouldn’t be now broken and paste with tape
– A broken heart is the best evidence that you’d lived
– Who said such an intelligent phrase
– The wiser of women
– I don’t think she is the wiser but the most beautiful, I can believe that
– I just want to thank you, you always left your problems and your own pain aside to give advance and comfort to this fool
– I cannot change what is giving me pain, Roy wont’ come back it doesn’t matter what I do, I just have to be patient and wait my turn to follow him.
– I’m going to sound so selfish but I hope it takes a while.
– It will, I haven’t finished my master piece
– ¿your what?
– Yeah my master piece, to turn you into a real girl
– I don’t thing that’s your task in this life
– Of course it is – interrupts her – Lisa, after Roy you are the most important person in my life, you know that most of my family died during the third world war and I was left alone, until you and he arrived to my life, he was the love and you the family I lost, when you started to give signs that you are indeed alive.
– ¿indeed alive?
– Yeah when I noticed your feelings for Rick, silly
– After he rescued me from Grand Canyon
– No, before that, I know you loved him from the first kiss in Dolzar’s ship, you didn’t notice but I did, those fights were the camouflage of your real feelings
– He was with Minmei and I
– Reflected your feelings for him in Kyle
– Something like that
– Even if you don’t believe and he doesn’t want to realize it, he loves you too
– What are you going to ask to Santa next Christmas
– A brain for Rick and courage for you
– And you’ll tap your emerald shoes and say there’s no place like home
– Ok Dorothy… but believe me, as it happened to you he felt for you as you for him, I don’t know when it happened, but it did and when day he will acknowledge his feelings for you
– I don’t know if I want to wait for that day
– And you’ll be a fool if you do it, say to him what you feel, open your heart and you’ll see the answer is going to be really different from what you are expecting
– Don’t insist Claudia, he is not for me, end of story…
– You’ll have your love story… you are going to be like that old movie Harry and Sally
– The one of the mayor orgasm in a coffee shop
– Yeah that one, they hated at first, then become best friends and at the end
– They married, that’s a movie Claudia
– Yeah, a movie. But you are following the same path
– Why are you so obsessed with me and Rick, it just not meant to be
– The only thing I want is having Roy’s most beloved person
– Beside you
– To be happy with my most beloved person, I truly wished you two to have what faith denied us, time to love each other, to fulfill all the plans Roy and I had.
– Claudia, you forget and your and Roy had a secret ingredient, you were madly in love and fought against all odds for that feeling, Rick and I are a different story.
– You too have the same ingredient but you don’t know how to mix it
But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here
– Probably and Khyron and Azonia will become good will ambassadors
– You kill me woman, your pessimism kill me… just remember that the worst blind is the one that wishes not to see
I don't belong here
They both laugh but Lisa listen the last part of the song playing on the radio – “What the hell I’m doing here, if I don’t belong… yeah what I’m doing here, if I don’t belong”.
They arrive to the base and that gives the perfect opportunity to Lisa to change the subject, they say good bye and go to their working place, Lisa is just thinking about what she talked with Claudia – “to turn you human, I believe the pain I’m feeling is the best prove that you make me human friend, you truly turn me human”
Rick
Rick steps out the shower and stand in front the mirror, thinking that it might be the largest shower he has taken in his life, being alone of course, with Lisa he could be hours under the water and don’t even realize it, there over the sink are Lisa’s panties.
“Ok Rick you have to move on, maybe not all is lost at least out there is Minmei, and any man would give his life to have her on his bed at his disposition, to be able to do all the kinky stuff I did to her last night”
Thousand of Minmei memories come into his mind, how he met her when he arrived to Macross City and suddenly saw himself in the middle of a war that lately involved the rest of mankind, when they were lost in SDF1 together and saw her naked for the very first time, they slept together but more like a need to remain themselves they were alive, later on their relationship was so messy. He in training and she working at her uncle and aunt restaurant, after he was stuck in battle after battle and she in her diva pose becoming, literally, in the most famous start in the universe, in an icon of human spirit. Finally they grew apart and she lived her life with Kyle by her side and obviously in her bed, Rick refuges in the only woman that make him feel intimidated and comfortable at the same time, Commander Hayes, beautiful Lisa Hayes.
Lowers his sight to see the panties and know are Lisa’s memories playing in his mind …
The screaming and fighting over the tacnet, kissing her in Dolzar’s ship, admiring her hot body while she was wearing a wet flight suit, saving her from Sara Base in Mars, the sudden feeling of want to take care of her after finding out why she was willing to die there, seeing leaving the SDF1 towards earth with the uncertainty (and maybe knowing) that she wouldn’t return, how much that though hurt him, saving her again, this time from Grand Canyon and the fact that it wouldn’t mind him at all to be the only two survivors, the kiss they shared. All those times she patiently listened him wailing for Minmei and how she never had something else that good words for her, even when he knew she could stand “the mocking bird brain girl”, of course he knows how she called her. Finally they became lovers, and then from nowhere the feeling of being with her to avoid missing Minmei was replaced by something else, something stronger, he stop having sex to start to make love, she always knew how to make him laugh even when he was blue, how motherly she was with him, always protecting him and making feel better without smugger him. Lisa was her friend and her lover… she was
– Rick I’m starving, do you want to have breakfast
– Yeah right – “Dam it woman”
– I’ll be in the kitchen, don’t take long
– I won’t
All by myself
I don't need anyone at all
I know I'll survive
I know I'll stay alive,
I'll stand on my own
I won't need anyone this time
It will be mine
No one can take it from me
You'll see
“I do need someone by my side, I wont’ be able to survive to stay alive without her, I’m not pretty sure of what I feel for you, but I’m certain of something I’ll miss her as crazy is she leaves me”
Takes the panties and put them in his uniform pocket
“But what the hell, I lost her already”.
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Author email / email del autor: del_valle03ATyahoo.com