Fanfic Name / Nombre del Fanfic: Maelström

Chapter / Capitulo: 6

Author / Autor: Jo_Anderson

Rating / Clasificacion: AP15 (For Teenagers = Para Adolescentes)

Romance

Alternate Universe / Universo Alterno

Angst / Drama

Fanfic: Maelström Chapter 6 
Disclaimer: I don’t own Robotech or any of it’s characters. This fic was written for entertainment purposes only. No infringement is intended. 
Author’s note: This is a Roy and Lisa fanfic, you are warned. If you don’t want to read this please don’t. I wrote this because I have always think that Roy is an awesome character and that he and Lisa will make a wonderful couple if it weren't for Claudia. In order for this fic to work Roy never died in the episode “Farwell Big Brother” 
Reviews: I love reviews, they are what keeps me writing and is the only way I have to know if you like it or not this fic. So please try to send one even if it just one word. 
To: Carla, thanks for helping me to develop this idea and for giving me the courage to write this.To Dwayne for being my beta again, without you I don't know what I'll do and to Fena. 
Enjoy..... 
 
Maelström 
Chapter 6 
“Epiphanies” 
 
Sammie had invited Lisa and Roy to her quarters for a dinner to celebrate the first successful test flight. Lisa was walking happily towards Sammie's quarters after talking to Rick on the phone, and after two days filled with tension since Roy's accident during the first test flight she was definitely in the mood for a relaxed dinner. Her only concern was Sammie's skills as a cook; she just hopped they had improved since the last meal she had shared with the Trio. 
 
“Sorry guys, I got caught up in something,” Lisa said while she entered into Sammie's quarters. 
“Something like an interplanetary call?” Sammie teased. 
“Something like that,” Lisa said with a grin and they both laughed. 
“Is there something I don't know?” Roy asked clueless. 
“Nothing, Sir,” Sammie said, but Roy kept looking at them for an answer. 
“The food looks delicious,” Lisa said changing the subject while she sat, looking at her plate. 
“And wait until you taste it,” Roy said. 
“Really, sir?” Sammie asked happily. 
“Sure Sammie, and please, please! Call me Roy. Every time you say sir I feel like I'm your grand dad!” 
“OK, sir.. I mean Roy,” Sammie said and everyone laughed and started to eat. When they finished dinner, they remained seated talking about the mission, sharing a nice relaxed moment that all of them needed. 
“So cheers for the first successful test flight,” said Roy raising his glass. 
“Cheers to that!” Sammie said cheerfully. 
“Definitely cheers to that, you gave us quite a scare the other day, Fokker,” Lisa said. 
“Well what's the point of doing test flights if you don't get scared once in a while?” Roy said and winked at them. 
“That's not funny si... Roy,” Sammie said. 
“Yeah well it wasn't as bad as it looked.” 
“Only because Lisa was there, I went completely blank. I froze” Sammie said, looking down deeply ashamed. 
“Nonsense Sammie, you did an awesome job,” Roy said. 
“Yes you did, Sammie,” Lisa said and put a comforting arm on Sammie's shoulder. “The only reason I reacted better is because I have more experience, but in time I'm sure you'll kick my ass.” 
“Really?” Sammie asked, touched by Lisa's word. 
“What do you think Roy?” Lisa asked to him still holding Sammie. 
“I'm sure she will,” Roy said with a grin. 
“Thanks,” Sammie said turning red. 
“Cheers to that, and to the fact that Miss Rules and Regulations here said ass while wearing her uniform,” Roy teased and Sammie tried unsuccessfully to hold in a laugh. 
“Very funny, Fokker,” Lisa said with a smile on the corner of her lips. They kept talking for a little longer until Lisa finally stood up. 
“We better leave; the meal was delicious Sammie and I had a great time but we all have the first shift in the morning and it's quite late and for sure you'll want to rest a little after cooking for us.” 
“Wow look at the time it's past midnight,” Roy said and stood up too. “The food was exquisite Sammie.” 
“Thanks, I'm glad you had a good time,” Sammie said flushing a little. 
“Yes we did, we must do this more often,” Roy said and Lisa just nodded. 
“Yeah it will be so much fun!” Sammie said, excited. 
“Of course it will,“ Lisa said and headed to the door. “Good night Sammie and thanks for cooking for us.” 
“Goodnight Lisa.” 
“Goodnight Sammie, see you on my screen tomorrow,” Roy said. 
“Night!” Sammie said waving at both of them before they left her quarters. 
Lisa and Roy started to walk towards their own quarters. 
“It was a nice evening,” Roy said trying to make some conversation, hands in his pockets walking carelessly. 
“Yes it was. It’s nice to be able to relax a little in here,” Lisa said  
“Yes it is,” Roy said and they both stopped in front of a intersection. 
“Well this is where we separate,” Roy said. 
“Yes. Goodnight Roy.” 
“Goodnight Lisa, get some rest.” 
“You bet on that, I'm so tired I'm not sure I'll even make it to bed.” 
“I can carry you to bed,” Roy teased flirtatiously. 
“Keep dreaming Fokker,” Lisa said and rolled her eyes. 
“Well you can't accuse me of not being persistent,” Roy said with a grin. 
“Claudia says that, that you’re nothing if not persistent,” Lisa said with a smile that quickly faded. “Used to say,” she corrected herself. 
“She always teased me with that, that it was only through persistence that I was able to catch her,” he said with a sweet smile. 
“Can I ask you something personal?” Lisa said blushing a little and without looking at him. 
“Sure,” Roy answered shrugging his shoulders. 
“How did the two of you end up together?” she asked, and she immediately regretted it. It wasn't her place to ask him about his relationship with Claudia, and especially now that the wounds of her loss were still so open. 
“You mean how did a girl like Claudia set her eyes on a guy like me?” Roy said mildly bitter. 
“Of course not,” Lisa answered surprised. 
“Well after all you have seen recently I can't blame you for thinking that,” he said burying his hands deeper in his pockets looking at the floor. 
“That's not what I meant at all,” Lisa said upset, that was the last thing she could have thought. Even though Roy wasn't the ideal man he and Claudia worked togetherperfectly. He made Claudia happy - that she knew for sure. “What I meant was, that from one day to the next you were together and you looked so perfect together. How does that happen? How can you click so fast with someone?” 
“Things weren't like that Lisa, not at all,” Roy said with a smile. 
“But I thought...” 
“Claudia and I didn't get along well at the beginning. Actually I think she pretty much hated me at first.” 
“She did?” Lisa asked in total shock. 
“Yes she did,” Roy said with a grin remembering, then added, “Do you want to hear the complete story?” 
“Of course I want to hear the entire story!” Lisa said curiously. Her last conversation with Rick had left her with the feeling that they had reached this dead point between friendship and starting a relationship, a real one, finally. But finally she added, “but it's late and I don't want to put you to any inconvenience.” 
“It's no problem at all,” Roy said. It wasn't like he told everyone how he and Claudia had ended up together. Probably the only person he had ever told the story to was Rick, but tonight he felt like telling the story, and Lisa was a good listener. “But we're going to need to sit down, because it's a long story.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Yes. Come on, my quarters are just around the corner,” Roy said and they started to walk in that direction. Once they were inside Lisa headed to the small dinner and Roy went to the small refrigerator for two bottles of beer.  
“Beer?” Roy asked. 
“Don't you have a test flight tomorrow?” she asked fighting the urge to raise an eyebrow. 
“It's alcohol free beer mom,” Roy said rolling his eyes as he left one bottle in front of her. 
“So?” Lisa asked while she grabbed her bottle of beer and poured the contents into her glass. 
“So...” Roy said and leaned his back against the back of his chair, searching for a comfortable position. “The first time I saw Claudia I was stationed in a secret base in Wyoming, a place lost on the map, with nothing around the base and we were mostly men,” Roy said and paused to look at Lisa. “So you can imagine that we were pretty eager to see some females.” 
“You mean you were ready to jump anything that wore a skirt?” 
“Pretty much,” he said and both of them laughed. 
“So when Claudia's small squad arrived we were in heaven, so many gorgeous women. But Claudia, she stood out from the rest immediately,” Roy said with dreamy eyes and a smile that showed nothing but love. 
“She was the tallest one, slender, her dark skin seemed to shine under the sun and don't even get me started on her long legs... uff they were to kill for. But of course Claudia was much more than that. She was the most brilliant and professional one out of all of them and even when she was just an ensign every time she gave an order you found yourself forced to obey. ” Roy said and Lisa smiled softly to him. God how much she would love that someone talked like this about her. 
“Anyway, at first I was just attracted physically, she was a hot girl and well, I was pilot. So I asked her to go out, imagine my surprise when she said no. No one had ever said no before.” 
“So you decided to use your charm?” 
“You bet I did! I chased her and kept inviting her until she said yes. You know, using all the pilot’s tactics, downing enemy fighters in her honor and all that,” Roy said and smiled inwardly while he drank another sip from his beer. “Obviously the first date was a disaster, I appeared 40 minutes late and with 3 other girls.” 
“You did what?” Lisa asked horrified. “You're kidding right?” 
“Nope,” Roy said and drank again while Lisa looked at him with wide open eyes, still in disbelief. 
“You pilots!” she said a little upset. “Why on Earth would you do something like that? Why after chasing her so much would you show up with 3 other girls?” 
“Because Lisa, I am a man,” he said and looked away from Lisa. “I had a dogfight that day and my wingman ended up in critical condition. I didn't want to think about it or the fact that it could had been me. All I wanted was to have fun and I knew Claudia wasn't the type of girl that you use for a one night stand. I also knew that if I showed up there or called to cancel the date I would have to explain her why, and that would mean talking about it. The best way to get it over with was to show up with other girls.” 
“You're unbelievable. Don't you ever stop to think about her? That you might hurt her?” 
“Better her than me,” Roy said coldly and Lisa looked at him, sparks of anger shining in her eyes. “Or at least that was what I used to think, but the moment I saw her face that day, I knew it had been a mistake,” Roy said shrugging his shoulder and drawing invisible patterns with his bottle of beer. 
“But you didn't apologize or explain that to her, did you?” she said, her voice accusing. 
“No,” he said coldly again. “I had an image to maintain. I was Roy Fokker, the ladies man of the base, the careless fighter jock.” 
“So what did you do next?” Lisa said after a while, when her desire to slap Roy had subsided. 
“I, sort of apologized for showing up with those girls and asked her out again,” Roy said and Lisa just raised an eyebrow. “What? I knew I had screwed up, so I wanted to make things right.” 
“And exactly what's your idea of “making things right”?” Lisa was almost afraid to ask. 
“I gave her all sorts of trinkets.” 
“You're unbelievable Roy, really,” she said shaking her head in disbelief. 
“I know,” He said and winked at her.  
“And I bet that worked marvelously,” Lisa said sarcastically and Roy just gave her a grin in response. 
“She cut me off completely, she even changed her shifts so she wouldn't have to see me and every time we had shift together we were at each other’s throats,” Roy said and Lisa could not help thinking about herself and Rick.  
“So how did you fix the situation?”  
“I didn't. I was sent overseas for the war. The last time “I talked to her” was when I left a message on her answering machine, telling her that I had been transferred but that I'd call her as often as I could.” 
“But you never did.” 
“Not even once. I thought of doing it many times. I even dialed her number, but I never called.” 
“Why?” 
“What could I have said? Hi Claudia it's Roy, do you remember me? I'm fine, just here on the high seas. Not much to tell, just that another man from my squadron died today, that would be the 12th wingman I lost and I think I'm going be next. So how's your life?” 
“I see your point,” Lisa said and sighed. 
Roy stood up and went to the refrigerator and took the last bottle of beer that was in it. 
“Do you want to share it?” he asked showing the bottle of beer to Lisa. 
“No I'm fine. I've already drank two,” Lisa said and looked at the table where there were 4 empty bottles. 
“Is there something else I can offer? I have a bottle of coke, one of water and some orange juice,” Roy said while looking inside the refrigerator. 
“Water would be nice. I always get thirsty after drinking beer,” Lisa said and moved in her chair searching for a comfortable position. 
“It happens,” Roy said with a smile while he left a glass of water in front of Lisa and sat again. 
“Did you know how she was while you were overseas?” Lisa asked. 
“No, I didn't know a thing about her until I was assigned to Macross.” 
“Did you search for her?” 
“Kind of, but I was so caught up in the development of the VT that time started to pass until one day she appeared in the hangar where I was working,” Roy said. 
“She looked up for you? I've never imagined her doing that, Claudia wasn’t the needy kind of girl.” 
“She wasn't exactly searching me out for a warm reunion meeting, if that's what you are thinking. She went there to give me back all the trinkets I gave to her back then; she hadn't even open them.” 
“So much for your “making things right” tactic,” Lisa said. 
“Yup, it took me out off guard. I didn't know how to react to that, so I did what I was the best at.” 
“Acting like it didn't matter?” 
“Right again. I told her that you can't win them all and I took the presents back.” 
“You took the presents back?” Lisa said her voice full of disbelief , shaking her head. 
“That wasn't the worst part. The next day it was the day before my first test flight and for some weird reason I had the hunch that it would be my last flight. I should have gone and searched for her, I even went to the bridge looking for her, but what was the point of talking to her if I thought I was going to die? So I left before her shift was over and decided to make a party with the girls of the maintenance crew. If I was going to die I wanted my last hours to be a party.” 
“If you thought you were going to die, why didn't you resign your commission? What forced you to fly that flight if you thought something would go wrong?” 
“She asked me the same question, and I'm going to give you the same answer I gave to her. Because I'm a pilot. I know the riskd I always have, and how could I say no to flying that VT. That machine, I fell in love with it the minute I saw it, it was any test pilot’s dream and besides I didn't have any family, no one would suffer if I died.” They remained in silence, Lisa knew the feeling of having nothing to lose, of knowing that your life is not as precious as someone else’s, that you are expendable. And she also knew the feeling of putting your duty ahead of your fears. 
“She found out about that party?” Lisa asked after a while. 
“She saw the party. I remember I was dancing and I caught her out of the corner of my eye. But I didn't run after her, I just couldn't.” 
“If I remember correctly you practically crash landed the first flight.” 
“I did, and it was then that I got it,” Roy said and Lisa gave him a quizzical look. “I wanted her to be part of my life; I didn't want to keep jumping from one bed to the other. I was tired of being Roy Fokker the ace pilot, the one that feared nothing. I just wanted to be Roy and all those girls that surrounded me, they were there because I was that ace pilot, not because of me. None of them cared for me, not really.” 
“You were caught in the facade you created for yourself.” Lisa said with understanding -she often found herself caught by the facade she had created for herself too. 
“But Claudia, she was the only one that saw beyond that facade. She did from the first moment she saw me and maybe that was the reason I kept running away from her, because she saw me, the real me, the one with fears, with doubts, not this war hero everyone sees in me.” 
“So you went after her?” 
“I called her. Just after I was done with all the procedures after the test flight. It was pouring rain and I kept calling her until she answered and begged her to get down and meet me.” Roy looked away from Lisa, outside the small window of his quarters that showed the stars outside. “I apologized for all the mistakes I'd made and told her that I was scared and that I needed someone to talk to, someone like her. The moment she told me she would be there for me, after all I had done, I froze. I... there she was, the only girl I ever felt I had a connection with, telling me that she would be there for me. I've never opened up like that to anybody, not even Rick,” Roy made another pause. “I got scared, what if I she didn't like who I really was? So I ran away.” 
“Why is it so easy for us to look death in the eyes and never feel any fear but the moment we have to face our feelings we are petrified,” Lisa said with sorrow. 
“I don't know,” Roy said with the same sorrow and shurg of his shoulders. “All I know is that if hadn't kept running away from what I felt, if I hadn't been such a coward I could have shared so much time with her.” 
“The time shared with the person you love always seems so short, once they are gone,” Lisa said sadly. 
“Yes it does,” Roy said pensively.  
They kept looking outside the small window, and after a few minutes of silence he asked. “How did you move on? You lost your fiancée, how did you move on?” 
Lisa looked at him and smiled, a sad smile. “I don't think I ever moved on, not completely.” 
“I was hoping you'd give a secret formula or something like that.” 
“Sorry, I don't have one,” Lisa said softly. “All I can tell you is that time makes things better, it doesn't erase what happened, but you learn to live with it.” 
“How much time?” 
“Well, it took me quite a while. I guess I didn't turn the page until I was on Mars, until I faced the reality that he was gone but even then it wasn't easy. If Rick hadn't pulled me out of Sara base I think I would have died there, only to be close to him,” Lisa said and looked at her hands, her tightly clenched hands. Roy didn't look at her; he understood the feeling, he didn't need more explanation than that. 
“I remember Rick saying you didn't want to get out,” was all that Roy thought was right to say. 
“I didn't, I had finally made my way to Mars and I was in his room.” Lisa made a pause and sighed inwardly searching for the courage to talk about Karl. She never talked about her personal life, and she still certainly didn't like to talk about Karl. Only Claudia knew the full story, the rest only knew pieces, including Rick. But Roy had shared his story with her, and she felt telling hers was the least she could do -some how it felt safe to let down her guard. 
“You see, Karl and I got engaged before he left for Mars and I promised him that I would join the RDF so I could go to Mars as well,” Lisa said and smiled. “We were so young and so full of dreams. We lived in that bubble that only young puppy love can create, when you think that anything is possible. The plan was that once I finished the Academy I'd ask for a transfer to Mars and we would be reunited there and we'd finally get married. It was a long time to wait, but we were so sure of our love that it didn't matter.” 
This time it was Lisa who looked outside the window, searching for a red star. “But the bubble burst, and the cold reality hit us. The war that he had been so eager to escape from caught him there. The irony was that I found out the same day I got the letter that authorized my transfer to Mars. I remember I had just graduated from the Academy when my dad came to visit me. It was weird because he practically never visited me while I was there. I should have known something was wrong, but when he told me that Sara Base had been attacked and that there were no survivors...” Lisa's vision became blurry, she took a deep breath. “From that day on I just focused on my work. It was all that I had and the more busy I was, the less time I had to think about it, to realize that all my dreams had been crushed.” 
“Including the ones you didn't even know you had,” Roy said and Lisa just nodded. 
“I never got to see his body, or have a proper funeral. I guess that made the closure process even more slow. When I was there on Mars and by the mysteries of life ended up trapped in his room, I swear I felt he was there with me. All the memories came to me. I didn't want to leave, I was there with him and nothing was going to pull me away from him this time.” Roy knew the feeling, so many times he had entered into his quarters and could have sworn that Claudia was there, making him a pineapple salad in the kitchen, only to find a cold and empty kitchen. 
“Nothing except Rick,” Roy finally said  
“Nothing except Rick,” Lisa repeated with a smile and they both shared a soft laugh. 
“When I saw the base explode, I realized that Karl was never coming back and that nothing I did would ever bring him back. I don't know why seeing the base blown into thousands of pieces really make me realize that he was gone; maybe that was the funeral I needed. I honestly don't know. I just knew it was time to let him go,” Lisa remained silent, swayed by emotion. 
“And since then?” Roy asked when he noticed that she had collected herself. 
“Since then I remember him once in a while. I remember the good times we shared. I kept wishing things had turned out different somehow. But it doesn't hurt me as much as it did, his memory doesn't haunt me like it used to. Now his memory keeps me company, it reminds me of happier times, but it's not sad... how do I put it?” Lisa said and bit her lower lip while she thought. “I'm happy I shared those moments with him, I wouldn't change that for anything in the world. But now I know I can't live my life only thinking in the past.” 
Roy looked at her and he understood what she said. It sounded reasonable, and yet he could not imagine a day would come when remembering Claudia would not hurt. They had left so many things undone. 
They smiled at each other with understanding, understanding that only two people that had lost someone they loved deeply could share. They remained there in silence, looking at the window, at the stars. Both of them chased the memories of a lost love among those stars until an alarm pushed them from their thoughts. 
“First shift will start in 30 minutes,” the voice said on the speakers. 
“What?” Lisa said and jumped out of her seat almost in panic. 
“You've got to be kidding me,” Roy said and stood up too and started searching for his clock. 
“Oh my God I can't believe it's already morning!” Lisa said and started to pace inside Roy's room as if she was searching for something. 
“God damn it!” Roy cursed when he found his clock. “It's 0530!” 
“I better go. If I'm lucky I'll be able to shower before the first morning meeting!” Lisa said and started to walk towards the door. 
“Lucky you, I'll have to run straight to the hangar. Guess I'll take a shower after the flight,” Roy complained and started to search for his flight suit. 
“See you later,” Lisa said while she walked outside Roy's room. 
“Sure,” answered Roy carelessly while he kept looking for his flight suit. 
Even while she was in a hurry to get to her room, she couldn't help thinking about her conversation with Roy, and the only word she could think of that described it was weird. 
She and Roy had known each other for a while now, they were colleagues and they respected each other deeply, but they were friends too, although she wasn't sure if that was the right word to use. He was like her brother in law, and their relationship had always revolved around Claudia. They always teased each other and of course argued with each other until Claudia made both of them shut up as if they were 5 years old children making a tantrum.  
But tonight, for the first time she had seen him for who he really was; for the first time she had seen the real Roy Fokker, and he wasn't like she had always thought he was. He wasn't only Captain Fokker, or the ace fighter jock, or Claudia's boyfriend, or this cool guy who always teased her, he was all those things and more. She thought she had always seen the good things in him, probably because most of the time she had seen him through Claudia's eyes or as a pilot, and for her as a flight operator he had always been a great pilot if not the best, because he knew how to lead his men, when to take risks and when to pull back. Then she had seen him at his lowest and darkest hour and she had hated him then. But now she was seeing all these shades of gray in him and for the first time she had looked at Roy Fokker, not at the living legend and she had realized that he was human, just like her. 
To be continued.... 
 
 

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Author email / email del autor: jo_anderson19ATyahoo.com