fanfic_name = "Don't look back."

author = Evi

Rating = AP

Type = Romance

fanfic =

DON`T LOOK BACK

By Evi

 

Author’s preliminary note: This is my first Robotech fanfic. I’ve been a big fan since I was little and saw the series for the first time in the late 80’s. Recently I rediscovered this amazing story and remembered why Rick and Lisa have always been my favorite couple! I was supposed to write this from Lisa’s POV, but at the end it was Rick the one who wanted to do all the talking, so I let him get away with it. Now, English is not my mother language, so I hope you can overlook all the mistakes this story has. I am a hopeless romantic, and Lisa and Rick just fuel my fire! I really hope you like it.

 

~ o ~

 

Everything is over. This is it, the end of an era; the great finale of a saga. I believe we just made history. All danger is gone now and I know we have a big task ahead of us: the reconstruction not only of a planet but most of all, the reconstruction of our own lives.

 

As I stand there, under the shadow of the destroyed SDF-1, I realize I’ve just made a promise: the promise of reaching the stars. But I won’t do it alone. I don’t have to be alone anymore. Not now that she’s by my side.

 

“We’ll do it together.” I think.

 

Her eyes, those beautiful emerald green eyes are lost in the horizon and I know her mind is even far beyond. I had never noticed how beautiful she really is and how perfect. I was so busy obsessing over Minmai and trying to get my mind away from my feelings, concentrating only on my missions and fighting the battles against the enemy, that I forgot to fight my own battles and failed to knowledge that the woman I really wanted and needed was just at the reach of my hand. Claudia was right; Lisa had been so close to me all this time, that I didn’t see her.

 

I tighten my grasp on her shoulder and she seems to come out from a dream. She blinks, as if to make sure she’s not dreaming… there’s so much destruction all around us… but there’s love, too!

 

“Lisa, you need to rest.” I whisper. “It’s been a rough day and you…”

 

I was going to say she’s still weak after being knocked down during the attack and after all the events that happened afterwards, but I stop… I stare at her small and delicate figure and I tell to myself that by no means Lisa is weak. She’s the strongest person I know.

 

“I’m alright.” She starts to protest. “I should go to—”

 

“Lisa!”

 

I interrupt her and I regret the fact that my voice sounded more authoritative that I would’ve wanted. She doesn’t seem to mind it, though. She looks at me and in her eyes I can see she’s asking for my support. It seems Captain Hayes doesn’t mind me taking over for a change.

 

“Let me take you home.”

 

I say, placing my hands on her shoulders and looking straight into her eyes.

 

“You won’t do yourself any good going to the headquarters now. They are going to need you there a little later, when everything is over and the emergency corps have done their job. There’s very little we can do there right now. I’m going to take you home. You will have a hot shower and eat something. Then you can go to sleep and things will be better in the morning, ok?”

 

“Alright.” She, for once, doesn’t object me.

 

I put my arm around her shoulders and we start to walk. It takes a while for Lisa to take her eyes off the remains of the SDF-1. I know things are starting to sink in her. She’s in shock, I think. She just lost her family. Admiral Gloval, Claudia and the trio… they are all gone.

 

“But you are alive!” I think “And you are not alone anymore, Lisa. I’m here to stay!”

 

We walk silently. I keep her close to me, to support her wore out body, to keep her warm and to let her know, without worlds, that I’m here with her, that now she can lean on me. I won’t let her down… not again!

 

I take her to my house, for I know the sector where Lisa’s house is located received a direct hit and her house could be damaged. I can’t know it for sure, but the last thing she needs now is to watch more destruction. It feels odd to be making all the decisions for Lisa now… but I told her I was going to take care of her and I will, for as long as she allows me to.

 

“It was so sudden.” –I hear her speaking almost under her breath.

 

“I know… but it’s all over now. War is over now, Lisa.”

 

She nods and I notice her body starts to shake. I stop and instinctively pull her closer to me, embracing her tight. She holds on to me as if her life depended on it. She buries her face in my chest and starts to sob quietly. All I can do is hold her close to me. I rub her back, trying to reassure her. I’m at a loss for words. What could I possibly say in a time like this?

 

It’s starting to snow again. The air is blowing hard and it’s freezing out here. Lisa is trembling in my arms. I realize I’m not with Captain Hayes anymore, the strong, invulnerable, self-assured, independent, secure woman everybody knows and respects… right now I’m with Lisa, just Lisa, a human being with fears and doubts, like everyone else. As I see her like that, I realize she’s not as tough as everyone think she is. That realization makes me feel a wave of tenderness flooding my chest.

 

Why I never took the chance to get to know her better? Why I never realized how lonely she was… how she was crying out for help in every one of our fights, arguments and discussions?

 

I pull away just a little and look at her tear-strained face. I don’t even try to smile, just brush her tears away with my thumb and for a moment I get lost in her eyes. She grabs my hand, holding it to her cheek. She stares at me as if I was nothing but a vision or a ghost. I’ve hurt her before, now I know that. But not anymore, Lisa… I’m going to spend the rest of my life making things up to you.

 

My heart is beating faster now. I love her, now I know it for sure! Shouldn’t I be telling her all of this? But I just can’t find the words. I declared my love for her under a rain of fire… why can’t I say it again, now under the snow that’s falling upon us?

 

“It’s getting cold.” I say sheepishly. “C’mon…”

 

Lisa follows me willingly, not even questioning why we are heading to my house. There’s so much I want to tell her… there’s so much I want to know about her… about this woman who’s been my guardian angel for so long. Whenever I was in battle, she was always there. She was the one who guided me through the enemy fire… and when I came home, she was always waiting for me. Whenever I had a problem, she was ready to help… no questions, no regrets. I can’t even count how many times she covered up for me, when I was being stupid and chasing after that mirage called Minmai.

 

Lisa, it’s always been you, Lisa… now I realize that. Suddenly I remember those two years we spent together in New Macross after the SDF-1 came back to Earth. I can honestly say that was the happiest time of my life. You and I got very close then. But one day war started again… and Minmai came back into my life. Then I forgot everything we had shared in those two years. I pushed you aside. It pains me to think about this.

 

All I want to do now is plead for your forgiveness. I want you to stay by my side forever. I’m dying to hear you say those words again.

 

“I love you; I always have and always will.”

 

Now I realize how little I know about her, while she seems to know everything about me. I don’t even know what her favorite color is or her favorite song, while she even knows my clothing size and the way I like my coffee. She knows more about me than anyone else.

 

Now my heart is burning. I have the urge to hold her, to kiss her, to get on my knees and ask for her forgiveness. I don’t know if I’m worth of her love. But I do know that from now on I’m going to do whatever it takes to deserve the love of Lisa Hayes.

 

We finally arrive home. The neighborhood is a mess, but my house is in one piece. The door is ajar and I remember that the last time we were there, Lisa said her goodbyes, declared her love for me… and then ran away from my life. It happened just this afternoon, but it feels as if that had happened a lifetime ago… in the last few hours the world changed. Nothing will ever be the same after today.

 

It’s snowing hard now. I stop by the door for a second, as a disturbing thought comes to my mind. My whole house is filled with Minmai memorabilia. She spent the last few days here and her clothes, her belongings and her perfume are all over the place.

 

But we have nowhere else to go. Then I think that in any case, my house also has Lisa’s hand all over. For the last couple of years, Lisa has always been here, taking care of things for me. She decorated the house, she helped me pick up my furniture… my house is –in many ways- a shrine Lisa built for me.

 

We get into the house and I’m already thinking I must get rid of every item that can be related to Minmai. Lisa looks tired and the fist thing I do is suggest she should take a hot shower. Not only I want her to warm up and relax, but that will give me the time to fix the house for her… the sheets, I must change the sheets first of all!

 

Lisa doesn’t refuse the suggestion to go and take a warm shower. I lead her directly to the bathroom and I go to my bedroom, to get some clean clothes for her. I know my clothes are too big, but as soon as they keep Lisa warm and comfortable, they are fine. I’ll go to her home and find her some clean clothes as soon as I can… if she agrees to stay in my house for the time being, that is.

 

I pick up some green and yellow flannel pajamas I have in my wardrobe. I have to stop and wonder… it seems like a lifetime ago, but I do remember I got these from Lisa. I think those were a Christmas gift, a couple of years ago. She seems pleased when I hand her the pajamas. Now I’m sure those came from her and I smile.

 

“These will keep you warm… now go and have that hot shower. You’re freezing and I don’t want you to catch a cold.”

 

I rub her arms as I spoke and she smiles at me for the first time in what seems to be an eternity. It’s a small smile, but at least it’s a start. Her eyes are so bright and deep… why does she always have that sad look in her eyes? Lisa, I can’t start to imagine how much you’ve suffered in your life. And what pains me the most is the fact that I know I have my share of that sadness I see in your eyes. But no more Lisa… I promise it!

 

She turns around and gets in the bathroom. I stay there, standing still, looking at the door that just closed, unable to move or to start the task I have ahead. I feel I’m glued to the floor. My heart is beating faster and I don’t know why.

 

“Lisa…” I think. “I need to start mending things right now, right at this second. I know you love me now, Captain Hayes, but I promise that soon you’re going to be mad about me… I’m going to spoil you in a way you don’t imagine!”

 

I run to my bedroom to take care of the most important thing: get rid of the sheets where Minmai slept in for the last few days. They smell like her and I don’t want Lisa to be bothered by that. I take them off the bed and I go to find a clean set of sheets. I’ve always been a very lousy housekeeper, but I do my best to have the bed ready for Lisa to sleep in it tonight.

 

“I guess it’s going to be another night on the couch for you, Hunter.” I speak to myself.

 

But this time I smile. Having Minmai in the house was a very strange experience for me. I would think it’d thrill me, but the truth is it didn’t. It actually bothered me… it wasn’t about Minmai, I don’t think so anyway. It was about the whole situation and the way things had been between us for years. And then suddenly, out of the blue, she is standing in my doorway, asking me for shelter and protection. She came too late… and I was foolish enough to accept her into my house. I would’ve done anything for her… a while ago. But now things had changed and I knew it. Still I opened the door and welcomed her in, not even realizing that in doing so I was wounding the one woman I should’ve cherished and be thankful to the most.

 

But now things were going to change. I grab a box and put in it every little piece of Minmai paraphernalia I find lying around the house. I close the box with duck tape and put it away, in a place Lisa won’t find. I’m going to get rid of it as soon as I possibly can.

 

Lisa is still in the bathroom. I go to the kitchen, trying to decide what to prepare for her. I want her to be warm and coffee would be my first choice, knowing Lisa likes coffee. Then again, she likes tea as well. I stand there, trying to decide between coffee or tea. At the end I decide to prepare some hot cocoa. There’s nothing more comforting in the world that a cup of hot chocolate, I say to myself.

 

While I wait for the milk to boil, I take the phone and automatically dial Max’s phone number. It takes a while for him to answer my call and when he does, he informs me that the situation in the SDF-1 is worst than he thought. There are lots of lost soldiers and casualties. The death of the bridge crew has been confirmed. They are rescuing the bodies as we talk. He asks about Lisa, he and Miriya have been very worried about her. I inform him that Lisa is safe and sound and she’s staying with me. We agree we shouldn’t bother her with the sad news. Right now she needs to rest and put herself together. Max tells me that I know I can count on him. Of course I do, he’s been my right hand man all these years.

 

I hang up the phone and suddenly Lisa appears in the kitchen and she’s like a vision from heaven. She’s wearing my flannel pajamas and the green in them really brings out her eyes. These clothes are too big for her and she laughs amusedly, pointing that fact. She looks adorable though. Her wet hair and her smell are the perfect complement to her looks. I step forward and lift my hand, but I stop abruptly, not exactly knowing what I want to do.

 

“I—I’m making some hot cocoa.” I inform her sheepishly.

 

“I’ll take it from here, captain.” She replies. “Why don’t you go and change your clothes?”

 

Until then I notice that I’m still wearing my flying suit and that it is wet and stained. I nod and leave the kitchen. I go to my room to get my pajama pants and a sweatshirt. Then I go to the bathroom, that’s still warm and moist after Lisa’s bath… her scent is all over the place and I take a deep breath, trying to fill my lungs with that aroma. My heart is beating fast again. Lisa, what are you doing to me?

 

It only takes me ten minutes to be clean and dressed. When I go back to the living room, I see Lisa has two mugs with hot cocoa on the coffee table as well as some cookies. I didn’t even know I had cookies in the house… this girl is amazing!

 

“I don’t know if you’re hungry… but you don’t really have any food in the kitchen and—“

 

“That’s alright, Lisa… maybe we can go grocery shopping tomorrow.”

 

“Yes, we must.”

 

I sit right in front of her and she smiles at me. She looks different from the scared Lisa I led to my house earlier. Now she seems more relaxed and at ease and that soothes my heart. I think it’s time we talk about the living arrangements.

 

“Lisa,” I say hesitantly. “I don’t have much to offer but you should know that the section where your house was located received a direct impact… you can’t go back to your house for now. This is a humble space and all, nothing like your quarters but you can stay here.”

 

I look at her, fearing a negative response. Instead she smiles at me and lowers her eyes. I try to read her thoughts in her face, but I can’t. There’s so much I want to learn about you, Lisa Hayes! She looks at me and nods weakly.

 

“I appreciate it, Rick… and I accept it. It’s just that I don’t want to cause any problems or make you feel uncomfortable.”

 

“Nonsense! You are welcome to stay for as long as you want!”

 

“Thank you!”

 

Lisa hides herself behind her mug and I contemplate her for a moment, fascinated by what I see. I always thought she was a beautiful woman, I even told her that when we were trapped in that Zentraedi ship so many years ago. But never until now had I realized how perfect and stunning she really was. I had never allowed me to see beyond her military uniform… why, I never allowed me to see beyond Minmai. Lisa’s eyes have always fascinated me, even when I looked at her in my monitor while flying my VT, it was her eyes what stood out the most.

 

I think it is funny. Few days ago Minmai came to my house, begging me to let her stay. And now here I am, asking Lisa to stay with me. I know her house is probably very damaged, but I’m not sure if I’m doing this because I don’t want her to sleep in a destroyed house or because I don’t want her to leave me. Not tonight at least.

 

“How are you feeling?” I ask her, sincerely concerned about her health.

 

“I’m fine.” Her voice doesn’t sound very convinced.

 

“Lisa… you were hurt during the attack… then you were in the eye of the battle itself… are you sure you feel alright?” I feel scared, suddenly remembering Roy and the way he passed away.

 

“I am perfectly fine.” Lisa says slowly. “Well, just a little sore… I have a few bruises and black and blue marks here and there… nothing to worry about though.”

 

“Maybe you should see a doctor, I—”

 

“Doctors are busy as they are.” She cuts me off. “There were a lot of people wounded in combat today… and the civilians too… and only God knows how many casualties.”

 

I see how Lisa’s eyes get teary. She closes her eyes, trying to hold back her tears. I wish I knew what to do to make her feel better!

 

“It’s alright.”

 

Suddenly I found myself sitting right next to Lisa on the couch. She seems surprised by my sudden closeness to her. She looks at me and I just look at her directly in the eye. I wish she could read my eyes and realize that right now I’m dying for her. My heart is beating so fast that I feel dizzy. I want to hold her, I want to tell her so many things… she’s staring at me silently, as if waiting for something important to come out of my mouth.

 

“I—” I whisper, not knowing exactly what to say. “I said I’m going to take care of you, Lisa. Now, that’s a promise I’m going to honor.”

 

Lisa opens her mouth, but I interrupt her before she can utter a word.

 

“I know you don’t need people to take care of you… I know you don’t need to be taken care of. You can take care of yourself just fine but… if you only let me be with you… Lisa, you don’t always need to be the strong one. Not with me, at least.”

 

“Rick…” I look at her, waiting for the rest of what she wanted to say, but words die in her throat.

 

I take her hands and kiss them lovingly. They are warm and soft and feel so tiny and delicate in mine. She shudders when I touch them with my lips and that sends a wave of energy through my body. I look at her, directly in the eye and I see tears shinning there.

 

“Lisa,” I whisper. “I want to open all your doors now… please let me in. if we’re going to be together, I need to get in… to get to know you. You don’t have to pretend around me. If you must, then cry… if you want, then laugh.”

 

“Rick…” She whispers, blinking back her tears. “Are we really going to be together?”

 

I feel my heart stopping right there. I stare at Lisa, a dumbfounded expression in my face. She’s looking at me, holding her breath, waiting for an answer. Then I realize that Lisa is insecure about the way things are between us. I am a man who always takes things for granted. I told her I loved her and that was enough for me. I know what my feelings are and I know they won’t change. But at this moment I realize that things won’t work like that with Lisa. She needs to be reassured; she needs to be sure of things.

 

Hunter, whatever happens, you won’t take her for granted. Not anymore. This has been your problem for as long as you’ve known her: you’ve always taken her for granted. You know that no matter what, she will always be there for you. You know that when things go bad, you can always count on her, to pull you up, to help you out, and to listen to you. And what have you done for her? What have you done with her?

 

I shake my head, hating myself. I can’t believe I’ve been such a jerk… I can’t believe how much and how deeply I’ve hurt her. She has every right to doubt my word now. After all, I’ve let her down again and again… this time I have to make sure she believes in me and in my word. Things are going to change, Lisa… things will never be the same.

 

I look at her face, deep into her eyes and squeeze her hands in mine, trying to reassure her. Her eyes are shinning with tears and contained emotion.

 

“We ARE together now, Lisa.”

 

There’s a heavy silence between us. I don’t think we’re even breathing.

 

“Lisa Hayes… I want you to be by my side forever because I love you!”

 

A rebel tear escapes the corner of Lisa’s eye. I brush it away with my thumb and then slowly I lean in and plant soft kisses on each of her eyes. When I pull away, she’s staring at me with open adoration. I had never seen that kind of look in her eyes before and it is enough to melt my heart. God, I love her! I have this urge to be by her side, to protect her, to take care of her… even if I know she won’t let me, I’ll do it anyway. Why didn’t I see it before? I’ve been in love for so long… with you, Lisa! Now I know that!

 

I touch her face with my hand, softly, gently. She’s smiling at me and I return the smile, feeling happy and complete. She’s beautiful, she’s perfect… she’s gorgeous in every possible way! There’s so much I want to say, so much I need to tell her but somehow it doesn’t feel this is the right moment to have a long and deep conversation. We both are tired and we need to rest… she needs to recover herself, for I know that, as soon as the sun comes out, she’s going to be up and heading to the headquarters. The next days are going to be tough, so at least I want her to have a good rest tonight.

 

I am trying to think on her well being, but for some reason my thoughts drift away… and my body starts to ache with some kind of pain… a deep desire to be close to her… to kiss her.

 

Until then I realize that even if I said I loved her, I never kissed her… we’ve kissed before, but all those kisses were part of a military plan. That didn’t stop me from feeling a range of emotions whenever we kissed. Strategy or not, those kisses were something else… but now she’s here with me and I have the opportunity to show her how much I really care.

 

“Lisa…” I say, still caressing her face. “You are so beautiful!”

 

“Oh Rick…” Her voice is soft with tenderness and emotion.

 

I look deep into her eyes and move forward slowly. My hand goes to her jaw and gently lifts it up. She doesn’t pull back. I can feel her trembling then. Her eyes close and I brush her lips with mine, which sends an electric shock through my body. My eyes close and I move closer to her. My lips are teasing hers but not yet kissing. I notice her breathing becoming ragged and heavy. My hand is in the side of her neck now and I can feel her pulse speeding up there. I don’t know whether she’s begging for that kiss or she’s about to break down and cry.

 

The fact is, my body is reacting to that physical closeness in a way I never thought was possible. It feels as if I was suffering a shortcut inside. I feel my entire body shuddering. I finally kiss her, hesitantly at first but Lisa responds to my kiss willingly. I can feel her urge and her need in that kiss.

 

I put my arms around her and deepen the kiss. At this moment I lose track of time and reality. Lisa is in my arms, I’m kissing her and she’s kissing me back. I feel her hands caressing my hair and my back and it drives me crazy. No one had ever kissed me like that. It is a deep, passionate kiss but it is tender and loving at the same time. It’s hard to explain, but then again, who can really explain love?

 

I feel alive, I feel vibrant, I feel full of energy… I want to stay like this forever. I love you, Lisa… now I know I do. Inadvertently Lisa is leaning back to lay down on the couch and I’m following her willingly. I’m holding myself up on one arm, to prevent from crushing her under my weight. My other hand is wandering, running up and down Lisa’s side as we kiss. We are kissing as if our lives depended on it. It is a kiss we have been waiting for so long, because I admit that there were times when I was dying to kiss her, but I never did. At the time I thought it was only a way to get my mind off Minmai momentarily and I didn’t want to use Lisa for that purpose. Now I know it was love all along.

 

We finally break the kiss, but I don’t pull away. I stay close to her, my lips almost touching hers. Our eyes are closed and we’re breathing fast. My heart has gone wild and I can feel Lisa’s heartbeat against my chest. She isn’t any better. We’re trying to catch our breath. It was one hell of a kiss. Who would’ve known Lisa was such a great kisser?

 

I open my eyes, still close to her, and I see tears running down her face. I don’t want to see her like that. I kiss her tears away and then pull back just the necessary amount of space to look at her face. She slowly opens her eyes and flashes a beautiful smile at me. She’s running her hands through my hair and that has a very calming and comforting effect on me.

 

“I love you, Captain Hayes.” I whisper sincerely.

 

“Rick… Captain Hunter… I love you so!”

 

We are lost in each other’s eyes. I love the way Lisa touches and caresses me. I don’t want to move, I want to stay forever like this. My hand goes to touch her face, tracing the soft and delicate line of her jaw. I outline her features gently with my fingertips, which seems to thrill her, for I can feel her trembling under my touch. Finally I collapse on her, exhausted after the day we have just spent. She doesn’t seem to mind my weight on her. I rest my head on her chest, and I get this feeling of belonging and experience a peace I had never felt in my life. I get lost in her, in her soft touch, in her warmth, in her aroma.

 

I close my eyes and abandon myself to her. There’s a fire waking inside of me. I feel her lips brushing my forehead and I look up. Our eyes met and she smiles tenderly at me.

 

“I thought I’d lost you.” I speak softly, feeling tears in my eyes. “I don’t want to lose you ever again, Lisa… there have been so many times in our lives when I almost did… only today, I thought I’d lost you when the two SDFs were hit… of after the attack, when I saw you laying there, in the ruins of those buildings…”

 

“Rick… please, don’t!”

 

“But what pained me the most was when you came to say goodbye.” I continue talking. I want her to know how much I really care. “I never thought I’d feel the way I did… if I didn’t say anything was because I just didn’t know what to say… my heart broke when I saw you there, crying for me… and then you ran away from me… Lisa, forgive me!”

 

“For what?”

 

She said those words as if she really didn’t have anything to forgive me for. Could it be that she loves me so much that she doesn’t even realize how much I’ve hurt her?

 

“For everything… I’ve been such a fool!”

 

“We were given a second chance today.”

 

She speaks quietly, looking away. She is teary eyed again and I know her mind is going to those we lost today.

 

“I don’t think we should waste our time asking for forgiveness or trying to find guilty ones. Things happened in the way they were supposed to happen… the important thing is that we’re here now… we have a fresh start. There’s no looking back, alright?”

 

“Alright.”

 

I smile. Must she be this wonderful? Why didn’t I see things before? I move closer to her and kiss her forehead, then her eyes and finally I move to her lips. It is a soft and tender kiss. I feel her hand searching for mine and our fingers entwine. When we pull away, she sighs satisfied and it thrills me to see her like that. Her eyes are still closed and I realize she is exhausted.

 

“Lisa, you need to go and get some sleep.”

 

“I know… I just… can we just stay here for a little longer?”

 

Her green eyes met mine and I melt. A soft smile comes out directly from my soul and I nod. I move aside in the couch, taking my weight off Lisa and I lay down on my side, hugging her to me from behind. She smiles and moves until she finds a comfortable position. My arm is around her waist and she starts to run her hand up and down my arm. It feels so good! I sigh deeply, smelling her hair. Everything about Lisa drives me crazy! Our legs tangle and I close my eyes, allowing me a moment to rest.

 

I know the following days are going to be very hard for all of us. I know Lisa is going to need all the help she can get, now that she’s the officer who most likely will be in charge of things. But she has nothing to worry about, for I will be there for her all the time. We’ll do it together.

 

I think tomorrow I’m going to phone Max first thing in the morning, to ask him to take care of things and I’m going to force Lisa to stay home. I chuckle softly, knowing that I won’t get away with that plan, but I will give it a try anyway.

 

Until then I notice that Lisa’s body has relaxed in my arms and her breathing has become steady and rhythmic. I move a little, trying to look at her face and I can see her eyes close. She’s fallen asleep. I smile contentedly. It feels so good to have her like that in my arms! I know the couch is a very uncomfortable place to sleep, I can say that from personal experiences. I have to take Lisa to the bed… but I want to stay like this for a little longer. Just for a little longer.

 

How long did we stay like that? I don’t know… I just know that I have just replayed all my history with Lisa in my head, from the moment we first met until the events of this day. There were so many signs I overlooked, so many hints I ignored… Lisa, my Lisa… my beautiful commander officer, my best friend, my accomplice… my love!

 

I lean in and kiss her cheek softly, not wanting to wake her up. She looks so beautiful like this! I’m fascinated by the sight of her. I have to admit, I have never seen anyone who carries the uniform with more dignity and elegance than Lisa… but to see her like this, in that oversized pajamas… I smile to myself, thinking how cute she is!

 

This feels like a dream and I just don’t want to wake up from it! Lisa is here, in my arms. I feel her so vulnerable and fragile, even if I know she’s not. But it gives me a sense of peace and completeness to have her here, sleeping safe and protected in my arms.

 

“I’m going to take care of you… to look after you and to love you forever, my love!”

 

I wish I could stay like this forever, but I don’t want Lisa to be uncomfortable. So finally I get up, being careful. I don’t want to disturb her sleep… I don’t want to wake her up. I stand there, by the couch, contemplating her. She moans softly, as if she had lost something. She moves a little and I want to think she’s searching for me.

 

Now, I take Lisa in my arms and pick her up carefully. She’s light like a feather but I can feel her strong body underneath her pajamas. Well, she’s a soldier, she must be in excellent physical condition. Her head falls against my chest and I smile when she snuggles up to me.

 

I carry her to my bedroom and lay her in my bed. I make sure she’s comfortable and cover her, tucking her in the best way I can. She seems to be comfy and warm and I nod to myself. I kneel by her side and contemplate her face for a long moment. We’re starting a new life now… this is not the end of the road, it’s only the beginning. We can’t look back. The road is ahead of us.

 

Lisa, I promise you, from now on your life is going to be very different. There’s so much we need to overcome, but we’ll do it together. And I promise that every day you’ll fall more and more in love with me. I am here now, and I’m not going anywhere. The time will come, when we will have to go to the stars, but we’ll do it together. It’s a promise!

 

I move closer and kiss her forehead. My lips stay there for a little longer than required but it is hard for me to pull away from her. When I do, I contemplate her face again, brushing some rebel locks of hair off her face. I can’t believe she’s with me now. Life changed radically in just one day. This morning I was stuck with Minmai and nothing made sense. Then Lisa came to say goodbye… then she told me she loves me… we were under attack… I thought I had lost her… and now here she is, peacefully sleeping in my bed. Oh, what a day!

 

“I love you, Lisa… I won’t get tired of telling you that.”

 

I walked to the door, giving her a last, loving gaze before closing the door. It’s time to go back to my old couch, but things feel different tonight. As I lay down there, I can smell Lisa’s aroma on it and that alone is enough to calm me down. I close my eyes and the only image I have in my mind is Lisa, sleeping in the next room. A sigh comes directly from my soul and I smile contentedly. Tonight I won’t allow myself to think about the sadness and destruction this war caused. War is over now, and tonight I will give myself the chance to dream. ***

 

 

 

 

State = Fin/The End

feedback = Sí/Yes

email = evi021ATgmail.com