fanfic_name = But Love, Hate On / Coincide

chapter = Chapter 2

author = clo

Rating = O18

Type = Angst

fanfic = LISA

The next day, feeling my head exploiting, I was thinking in what Claudia told me “at least you will confirm all your fears”, but inside my head there was still that written by de bard “Those that can see thou lovest” and I was so blinded by my fears, deep inside I rather the maybe, I rather to die old and alone, but thinking that if I only would open my mouth he could be by my side reminding me to put to teeth before leaving the house, and not with 10 cats around me knowing that he never loved me.

I was in the SDF-1 oriel window, seeing the city, watching all that I was about to say goodbye, feeling the cold winter air through my bones, and I thought it was a good change, at least the cold deviated my attention from the pain in my soul.

Again a happy voice returned me to reality, it was Claudia…

- Admiral Gloval wants to see you right away in the bridge

- I’m glad, I’m also wants to speak with him – after hesitating a little bit, I said out loud that hunting my mind – I have decided to resign to the army.

- Are you insane? The army is your life, no man is worthy, no man deserves you leaving what makes you feel alive

- I know, but… I don’t know what else to do, I’m going mad, I’m going to loose my head being by his side, the worst way to miss someone is being by his side, knowing he is not for you… you know what is going to be like, seeing him everyday, sharing some jokes in the tacnet, and then watch him go home to be with miss marvel.

- You disappoint me, I always thought you were braver, and so much smarter, if you want to feel petty for your self, be my guest, go ahead and say the same stupidity to Gloval

I left her and walked to the bridge of the SDF-1, and I could not avoid thinking about the first time I heard Rick’s voice and the many other occasions in which hearing his voice made me feel so alive, even if it was only for fighting. I thought about how much I would miss Captain Gloval, my second father, the trio, always making me laugh, and most of all my big sister… Claudia

- Admiral Hayes reporting sir – I said in my most military voice possible, trying to gather strengths to hide my lack of brave, to make-up the real reasons why I was about to run away from my LIFE with the tail between my legs.

- At ease, I sent for you to give you your new orders…

- Excuse sir, but I cannot take a new mission – after a brief moment of sanity I said – I’m leaving the army, sir.

- Lisa, I thought you were smarter, more responsible, if your decision is based in your relationship with Lieutenant Hunter, it is not acceptable

I remembered listening to Gloval’s reasons for not letting me quit, and more he said more the blindfold fell from my eyes, partially of course, and I thought that was the perfect solution, being away in a mission that could be considered as suicide, away from Rick and his happiness beside the love of this life. I smiled and accepted my orders.

I left contempt of my decision and happy that faith finally took petty of me once in my life, I wouldn’t have to leave the army, they were giving me my own command and the best of all away from that breaking my heart.

A thousand thoughts were in my mid “Those that can see thou lovest”, it did not matter if I continue blind for a while longer, I was going away, I could wish all the happiness Rick deserves and from the stars in a way I could be taking care of him. I continued walking I thought towards home, to begin all the preparations to re-start my life, alone again “you sound like a song, Hayes” I thought, I remembered the friend to be left behind, but most of all in him, in the fact that were would not be able to fight again, he won’t call me an old weasel again, or make me laugh of any nonsense of him, when my steps and my subconscious took me right in front of his door, sometimes heart and soul are stronger than mind and will.

I thought “what else you have to loose Lisa” – “at least you will confirm your fears” said my little Jiminy Cricket Claudia inside my mid and I knock, it took a while to be opened and I said to myself “again faith is on your side, he is not home, you can leave a note and he won’t see your heart break into a thousand peaces”, when I was about to turn around and leave, the door opened.

Rick

I was preparing coffee when Minmei walked into the kitchen, she was strange, as she was decided to commit a bid sacrifice but somehow she was glad with it.

- Rick I’ve been thinking a lot and I think that if you leave the army and I stop singing, we could have a normal life.

- What are you talking about – I asked really without believing what she just said, while I pretended to put some sugar in my coffee

- Yes, I mean if you were not in the army saving the world all the time and me not singing, we could be normal and get married

- Are you serious, Minmei? – I asked, while my little Rick Hunter in my head, the same that spent all night long asking himself thousand question, yield MARRY???? – come on you love singing and I…

- Rick, I’m tired to do whatever the world tell to, and you are always risking your live, I believe we both have earn the right to do whatever we want with our lives.

- I understand you, but… - how do I explain her that I’m doing what I want with my life – now the army needs me, there is lack of pilots with experience and…

I didn’t finish the sentence, because she approached me in a very sexy manner and put her index over my mouth.

- We will discuss it with a full stomach, because I’m starving, come on move.

I could listen her singing and I thought “dam it, her voice is as beautiful as she or more if it possible” I took a sip of my coffee and realized that I had sugar, I take my coffee black, and she didn’t notice it, we had drink coffee in so many occasions, she has prepared it and she didn’t know how I drink it, I left the cup on the table in my tiny living room and looked through the window a few VTs flying, then I remembered that Lisa knew how I drink my coffee, “black for him, that is why he is all day at high speed” she once said to an aid during a meeting that asked how to prepare us a cup of coffee.

Lisa knows, even back then, that I hate onion and I dislike food very hot, and I know she really hates sup, as that little Argentinean girl with the funny hair that makes her laugh so much, and can eat all the olives in the world.

I was missing the point, what was really important in that moment was not Lisa’s love for olives, but the strange marriage proposal of Minmei, “if live is just a few instants and an instant is the moment to exist”… which moment is the correct one, I remember thinking “Come’n Hunter, If you marry here now and leave the army, if you start a normal life, how normal it would be, you don’t nothing besides this, more than the army, leaving it would mean to leave my friends, my family… Lisa” “If your life is other instant I don’t understand”…. “How much are you going to miss it Hunter, if you become a normal husband running with his family to the nearest shelter, if you are a normal person…”

I started playing with a scale VT, gift from Lisa, and continued thinking about leaving the army… “Lisa would understand you; she knows exactly how I feel, because we are just alike”.

“but know dumb-ass she is not speaking with you, because you stood her up, why I couldn’t appreciate or respect her time, how I couldn’t see how she feels for me…” “so many worlds, so many space and coincide”, “that dammed song… Lisa do I coincide with you or we bump each other… Roy come’n brother what should I do, leaving the army marry Minmei, to be a real husband, Lisa would understand me, she would know how I feel, she’s like me…” I continued in my little bubble, but Minmei’s voice returned me to reality

- Didn’t you hear the door – she asked and I honestly didn’t hear it

- No, but don’t worry I’ll go

Definitively I was not prepared to receive the person standing in front of me “so much space and coincide”

State = Continuará/To Be Continue

feedback = Sí/Yes

email = del_valle03ATyahoo.com