Chapter 21: In the Shadows.
When he entered
the room, the cold of the ambient hit his skin like a cold slap
in winter. A natural chill ran over his back, but it was the look
of her in bed that make every little hair on the back of his neck
stand up in agony alert. The light was dimmed and the neon bright
gave her even a paler look as her hands lay down next to her in
a ghostly way. His senses didn't get any external signs. The only
sound he felt was the errant pump of his own heart. The only thing
he tasted was a bloody and salty feeling in the back of his throat.
The only thing he felt, was how his legs and arms where losing energy,
like the steam running away from the boiling water. The only thing
he could see was the reason of his life, lying in a cold bed, alone,
holding onto life just by a miracle of science and God.
He stood there
for minutes, but the feeling was like a lifetime had past over him,
and somehow he felt old and tired. His lips were dry, but he couldn't
feel them. Slowly he stepped in, scared because that action felt
like his first move inside an unknown reality, but he did it anyway.
His second step was there, and after just five of them, then he
stood next to her, and watched her in slow motion from her feet
to her face, lying unmoving and covered with white unwelcome sheets,
like she was just another one there. Another body waiting for the
final sentence of destiny.
blood rushed through his body until he felt the dangerous pumping
of blood in his ears, trying to escaped from the prison of his skin.
The cold air filled his lungs like the first breath of a newborn
and hurt him from the inside and his legs couldn't take his own
weight and he collapsed on the floor, next to her. The dumb feelings
in his chest of the past hours finally broke free and filled him
with sadness, agony and guilt.
His face was
just inches away from hers, but the distance was growing every second,
because her soul was slowly flying away from his presence. He almost
couldn't feel the warmth of her body, because it wasn't there anymore.
His face lay on her bed, and the only thing he could do was watch
how she was trapped inside her own biological nightmare. With unknown
strength, he moved his hand and touched her left hand, feeling the
cold of death around her. Feeling how his vision was blurry suddenly
from hot tears, he moved all his being to hold that hand, so unprotected
like the hand of a child, and tried to give his own warmth to it.
He prayed for a miracle, asking the gods and every good thing on
earth to give him a second chance to show her what she meant to
him. It was in vane. Like a crystal statue she refused to open her
eyes and after a few minutes he felt how a frustrated scream was
captured inside his throat, screaming so loud that it could make
the whole hospital tremble. But when he opened his mouth, no sound
came from him, as another proof of destiny that his fate wasn't
in his hands anymore.
to his wife, holding her hand, he cried and screamed in silence,
feeling how his own life was escaping from every pore of his skin
in every breath that he exhaled. Absolutely lost without her, Rick
cried one more time, asking no more for help, but only for the heavens
to take him with Lisa, if that was what the skies decided.
Rick woke up
breathing hard and sweating. His neck was so tight and his body
so heavy that he couldn't move for a minute. Almost scared, he tried
to breathe normally. With eyes wide open looking at the ceiling,
he tried not to go back to sleep. He couldn't remember the nightmare,
but he was sure he didn't want to remember it or go back to it again.
Suddenly a panic feeling grew inside him and almost with fear; he
moved his right hand and touched tentatively next to him. With relief
his hand touched Lisa's hip. She was sleeping next to him, like
every night the past year. Letting go of the air inside his lungs,
Rick barely smiled, but could breath again. Lisa moved in her sleep
and turned over to face him, turning her beautiful sleeping face
to his side of the bed. Rick watched her sleep and smiled a little
more when he listened to how deeply she was sleeping. He turned
around and they were face to face. Rick just watched her, like she
was a precious treasure, and she was, because after all that time,
Rick learned how to appreciated the sleeping beauty next to him.
Not just for her looks, but for her feelings, her logic, her personality...her
soul. It was almost a year since he married her for all the wrong
reasons, but tonight, he thought, tonight he knew that it was a
good choice. However, there was something inside that still held
back for her, a silly feeling that still remembered his own insecure
feelings. There was a small part of him that still refused to accept
the obvious fact, that this woman was the right one for him. Maybe
it was because of how they ended up together, a reason so bizarre
and hard to accept. Maybe it was because it was from morning to
night that everything happened. Maybe it was because deep down he
still had feelings for another woman. Maybe it was because he was
just scared of the mysterious way that life works, that left him
hanging around on an emotional cliff sometimes. He didn't know the
reason, but just thinking about that gave him a chill that had nothing
to do with the cold England weather. He nodded and put his arms
around her waist, moving her closer until they were nose to nose.
Feeling the tender feeling of his nose against hers and the warmth
of her presence, Rick closed his eyes; sure that just the contact
of her was enough to make his own demons run away for the night.
It was a cold
day, the sunlight fought against the deep gray clouds in the sky,
but the clouds were winning the battle. Dana looked with her cheek
against the cold glass of the window of the kitchen, in the main
area of the house were everybody hung out. The little girl sighed,
knowing that as much control as she had over everybody in her very
unusual family, they weren't going to take her out this day. It
was Kim's day to take care of her, so Dana smiled widely when the
short hair brunette entered the kitchen. Both girls smiled to each
other, fully knowing that in the morning they were going to dance
in the living room with the music as loud as possible. In the past
year in England, Dana had not just grown like a weed in the country;
she also took on the English accent in her now complete sentences.
The funny thing was that everybody in the house had taken the accent,
so nobody noticed it.
everyone," said Kim stretching and walking straight to the
"Cloudy Morning," answered Sammy with a yawn.
"Why so depressed Sam?" asked Kim sipping her coffee and
walking next to the always burning fireplace.
"Ohh, you aren't going to freeze outside today!! You want to
switch with me today?" asked Sammy with stars in her eyes.
Kim made a face and showed her tongue.
"No thanks, Dana is mine today," said Kim holding the
little girl who loved to be spoiled by the "grown-ups"
of the house.
"Good Morning," said Roy coming into the room and taking
Dana in the air from Kim's arms. Everybody laughed when the girl
giggled. Roy kissed her cheek and put her on the ground and she
ran to her toy box.
"Aren't we in a good mood again?" said Vanessa raising
an eyebrow in his direction. Roy smirked showing his white teeth.
"Yes we are," he said sitting in the chair.
"Save me the details," joked Kim rolling her eyes.
"You wish I gave you details," answered Roy and Vanessa
almost choked on her tea.
"And who told you I already don't know... 'Mr. Big'" answered
Kim and this time it was Roy who almost choked.
"What?!" he said looking almost pale, but Kim laughed.
"Man you are easy... after 'Sex and the City' every guy's nickname
is Mr. Big...don't flatter yourself that much Fokker" said
the brunette as she drank her tea with triumph.
"Are you two fighting again?" said Lisa coming into the
nook, fixing her jacket. "Honestly, you both should test your
DNA, I can bet that you are related to each other," she said
rolling her eyes.
"Funny Mrs. Hunter...where is your husband anyway?" asked
Roy having a foot fight under the desk with Kim until they both
hit it and Vannessa's tea jumped.
"He is in the shower. He didn't sleep well last night, so I
let him sleep a few more minutes, he didn't have a good face..."
she commented sitting at the table, after kissing Dana's head.
"Maybe he has the flue or something," offered Sammy looking
"Maybe, I don't know...but he seems quiet, worried about something,"
explained Lisa looking at her reflection in the dark coffee of her
Roy bit his lip, thinking. He noticed this behavior of Rick lately
and was worried, but he couldn't talk about it yet, there was more
important news to share with his little brother, but he made a mental
note not to forget to ask if he was all right.
was done, they said their goodbyes to Kim and Dana and were on their
way to the base. Dana looked at the cars until they weren't in sight
anymore. The little girl had a serious expression on her face, and
sighed sadly as she looked at her own tiny hands. She felt something
wasn't right, but she was too little to even know what it was. Kim
came next to her and took her in her arms and soon Dana was laughing
and forgot what was probably her first premonition.
The day went
normal between patrols, meetings and reports. The usual discussions,
the usual jokes, but Lisa saw everything in slow motion. She had
a weird feeling and somehow she felt more awake than ever in her
life. She put special attention to every little detail around her,
every funny face Sammy made, every detail in Miriya's questions
and the way Max looked at his wife, with wisdom within. Lisa smiled
almost sadly and wondered why this day was like the calm before
the storm, like the sweet goodbye in a romantic movie. She laughed
at herself and concentrated on finishing her reports to send back
to Macross City. A new plane of officers and civilians was going
to arrive that night, and she had to be present. After finishing,
Rick picked her up and they returned home early with Claudia and
Roy, who looked a little anxious about something. Between the chat
in the car, Claudia, who sat behind with Lisa, took her friend's
hand and smiling whispered "I need to talk to you in private".
Lisa nodded, more curios than worried, because Claudia was smiling
and looking strangely calm.
The wind started
blowing hard when they reached their home, and the lights of the
little chalet welcomed everyone inside. Lisa was the last one to
get inside. For an unknown reason, she walked a few steps into the
garden and let the wild wind hit her in the face. She closed her
eyes and breathed deeply, letting the air fill her with life.
Lisa!! Come inside!" said Rick walking behind her and taking
her hand. She turned around and smiled sweetly at him, and both
After a little
chat with everyone, Claudia found the perfect moment and excused
herself and went upstairs with Lisa. Roy, for his part, took the
opportunity that the Sterlings were playing in the living room with
Dana, and the Trio was gossiping in kitchen, to take Rick into the
it?" asked Lisa excitedly when they were in Claudia's bedroom.
Claudia made her sit on the bed and she walked in front of her anxiously,
trying to find the right words. Lisa looked at her in a funny way
as she waited.
"Well, er...it's just....I have to tell you something..."
said Claudia moving her hands.
"Then tell me!" said Lisa smiling, waiting anxiously.
Claudia looked at her and smiled back. She sat next to her and took
"Lisa, honey...Hmm, a few month ago, Roy and I decided something...I...I
haven't told you because I thought, well...I think it was because...I
don't know! I still don't believe it yet myself..." she said
"Believe what?! C'mon Claudia! You are killing me here!!"
said Lisa holding the hands of her friend stronger.
at her smiling.
"WHAT?!" shouted Rick from his chair near the fire. Roy
"Yes," said Roy walking around, holding a glass with scotch
in it and smiling like a fool.
Rick sat there, eyes almost jumping out of their sockets. He was
sure that he missed hearing it or something. Even in a thousand
years, he never thought he would witness this.
"Well? Say something...or you are going to sit there forever?"
asked Roy impatiently.
"I...I...don't know what to say," said Rick truthfully.
"Congratulations would be a good word right now Hunter,"
offered Roy jokingly.
"Oh...yeah, sure," said Rick drinking his own glass of
scotch at once.
"Don't act like it is so weird," said Roy sitting in front
of him in another comfortable old chair.
"Isn't it? I mean...aren't you surprised at all?" asked
Rick finding finally some words.
"Of course, but not that much. Actually I was getting worried
that we hadn't had success sooner," explained Roy and drank
from his glass.
"So you planned all this?" asked Rick dumbly.
"Sure! What? Did you think after so many years together this
just happened?" asked back Roy, raising an eyebrow. Rick turned
a little embarrassed by his own stupidity.
"Sorry," he said and drank the rest of his scotch "
I need a refill".
Roy laughed at his reaction.
"Oh My God!!!!!" said Lisa with her hands over her mouth
and eyes filled with tears. "I am so happy for you!!"
she said and hugged her friend so hard that they almost fell from
the edge of the bed.
"Thanks Lisa!" said Claudia, crying too "You are
the first person I told, well...except Roy of course."
"And you said you two planned all this?" said Lisa cleaning
her eyes and looking for a tissue for Claudia.
"Yeah, I was worried actually, but looks like everything is
all right," said Claudia blowing her nose. Lisa laughed.
"I bet Roy was out of his body in happiness," said Lisa,
sitting in the edge of the bed again.
"Yes, just don't tell him I told you," said Claudia coming
into the bedroom with a glass of water.
"Don't worry...Oh, that is so sweet!" said Lisa and then
concentrated on her friend, "How do you feel?"
"I am fine, just the morning sickness is awful and I've been
having trouble controlling it, so you guys didn't find out. I want
to ask Miriya for some advice if she has any".
"I am sure she has. Oh my god...this is so unreal...how many
month are you?" asked Lisa placing her hand slowly in Claudia's
"Four weeks," said her friend smiling, "Roy thinks
it's a girl," she commented to Lisa and she laughed.
"I bet...what do you want?" asked Lisa taking her hand
away and feeling so strange to be asking these things to Claudia.
"Doesn't matter, I will be happy with anything, but between
us...I don't know why, but I think will be a boy," said Claudia
smiling. "Poor Roy, he is just completely sure it's a girl".
"A boy, a girl, WHO CARES!" said Lisa enthusiastically
"I am just so happy for both of you! This is far away the best
news I ever had," said Lisa hugging Claudia again.
"Thanks friend, really...thanks," said Claudia, and both
women started crying again.
"Wow, I am still in shock," said Rick holding his drink
and looking into space.
"Tell me about it...do you imagine me as a dad?" asked
Roy between joy and worried. Rick finally looked at him and stood
up, placing a hand in his back.
"You will be a great father, Roy, you were almost like a father
to me, that kid can't be more lucky," said Rick patting his
back. Both man hugged each other.
"Thanks bro," said Roy, holding his own emotions.
"Thanks to you for sharing this with me," said Rick smiling
"Well, wow...what about you?" joked Roy sitting in his
chair. Rick raised an eyebrow at him.
"What about me?" asked Rick back, sitting in his own chair.
"When are you two going to get pregnant?" asked Roy smiling.
Rick's eyes grow wider and he sat quiet, not sure how to answered
don't know...I don't even know if Rick wants kids," said Lisa
standing up and walking around the room suddenly nervous.
"Well, do you want kids?" asked Claudia crossing her legs
and looking at how Lisa was visibly nervous.
"I...I...sure, I would love to have a baby but I don't know
what Rick wants," said Lisa walking to the bathroom and taking
another glass of water, feeling thirsty all of the sudden. Claudia
"I am sure he wants kids," said Claudia when she walked
back again. Lisa stood in the doorframe of the bathroom looking
at her friend.
"You think so?" asked Lisa, like a little child.
"I am sure...he hasn't thought about it, but I am sure he would
love it," said Claudia, patting the bed next to her. Lisa walked
over and sat there.
"This is a huge step, I mean...you and Roy are together since
forever, but Rick and I...it's a completely different story,"
explained Lisa looking down at the glass in her hands, feeling insecure
and a little sad.
"Nonsense Lisa, I know you want a baby, and I know it because
you look at Dana the same way I look at her. You want your own,
and it's like a call...it's like I felt there was something inside
me telling me it," said Claudia softly, taking Lisa's hand
and making her look into her eyes.
"I wanted one for a long time Claudia but...I don't think Rick
is ready for something this big".
"What about Max? When Miriya got pregnant, he was even younger!"
said Claudia and Lisa nodded.
"But there is a huge difference Clau...Max was and is IN love
with Miriya...and I am not sure Rick is in love with me".
"Don't be silly, he is...he is still young and stupid sometimes,
but I don't have any doubts about what he feels for you," said
"Then why do I still doubt it Claudia? Why do I feel that he
is keeping a secret?" said Lisa walking in the direction of
the door and stopping there.
"Because...because..." Claudia tried to say, not sure
what she was trying to explain. She looked at Lisa and saw the truth
in her green eyes "He is not..."
"Forget it Claudia, this whole thing. This is your day and
we are going to celebrate it. C'mon, lets go back and look for the
guys" said Lisa and forced herself to smile, taking Claudia's
hand and walking downstairs.
be out of your mind," said Roy not sure if he heard it right.
"I know Roy, but in all this time, I know I am crazy for her,
and I love her...but there is something holding me back and I don't
know what it is," said Rick walking until he reached the fireplace
and lost his sight in the fire.
"You are telling me that, after all this time, after everything
that happened, you aren't sure of what you feel?" said Roy
trying to calm himself and standing next to him.
Rick didn't answered, just nodded.
"My God..." said Roy looking at the ceiling and covering
his mouth with his hand.
"I am a bastard," said finally Rick, throwing into the
fire the empty glass and walking away.
"You aren't Rick...this isn't sane bro...you are just confused,
man, you were born confused!!" Roy tried to joke, but didn't
"This is not confusion Roy. I have the most amazing woman next
to me, caring, lovely, brave, sexy, intelligent but it's not enough...there
is something missing, and I don't know what the hell it is!!"
exploded Rick holding his head in his hands.
"Rick..." said Roy suddenly but he didn't listen.
"Don't tell me I will know with time Roy! I don't know!! I
feel a thousand things; I wondered a thousand possibilities. It's
like my life isn't in my hands and I'm someone's puppet! Why did
I end up like this? What if I took a different path...what if I
never married her? What would have happened to me then? Were I would
be now? With whom? Doing what? Maybe I would not be having these
feelings of...of losing something!! Roy...maybe I would be just
looking at some strange woman's legs and that would be my biggest
problem and I wouldn't even be thinking about kids at this age!!
I...I don't know!!..."
"RICK! STOP!" commanded Roy in a harsh voice and just
then Rick looked up to watch Roy's tense face. He was looking straight
to his left and Rick followed his eyes and when they finally reached
their destination, his own heart stopped.
"Lisa" he murmured as he looked at her in the doorframe
with the most intense look of pain in her emerald green eyes.
Lisa forced herself to breathe again, trying to realize if she was
inside a nightmare or if this was actually happening. Her eyes were
fixed in the blue worried eyes of Rick, standing a few feet away
from her. She could feel her heart in her ears, but the worst sensation
was how the energy was escaping from her, leaving her weak. Claudia
probably thought that she was going to faint or something, because
she grabbed her arm, holding her.
"Lisa" she listened to him murmur, with so much fear and
her pain hit against her like a wave hits the rocks in the sea.
"Roy, do something!" begged Claudia watching how Lisa
was paler every second.
"Lisa..." said Rick walking next to her but she held herself
"I am fine, don't worry" she said breathing hard and feeling
embarrassed for the situation.
"Are you sure?" asked Roy also concerned of how pale she
"Affirmative daddy," Lisa tried to joke as she smiled
at him. Roy smiled sadly.
"Yeah, I will be a daddy" he said and then Lisa hugged
him, in part for moral support, in part to hide how her heart was
breaking right then.
Looking at Claudia, Roy held Lisa as hard as he could, feeling how
she desperately held onto him. He just wanted to die in that moment.
"Congratulations Roy," said Lisa trying to focus on that
topic and put behind the sour memory of her own problems.
"Thanks kiddo," said Roy with a sad smiled.
"Hey, cheer up, it's ok...you both need to celebrate and I
think you should tell this wonderful news to the guys...I can imagine
the face of the Trio when they find out!" said Lisa forcing
a fake cheer.
Claudia looked at Roy and realized she wanted to be alone with Rick.
"Lisa, we can stay..." said Claudia but Lisa shook her
"I am fine Clau, c'mon on, I told you, this is your day, go
and celebrate, I...we need to talk," she said and both Claudia
and Roy left the room with worried expressions on their face.
The wooden door
was closed, and both Rick and Lisa were facing each other. Rick
was completely lost wondering thousand of things at the same time,
and praying that she hadn't heard, but it was a silly thought, because
it was obvious that she had heard enough. Lisa was against the closed
door; her eyes lost in the floor, not knowing what to say or do.
She was so absence of everything that she didn't realize when her
own tears started falling from her eyes in silence.
When Rick saw
her there, completely vulnerable with tears falling from her eyes
he cursed himself and walked until he held her in his arms.
"I am sorry, I am sorry," he repeated over and over again,
but Lisa wasn't there. She felt his arms around her and felt nothing.
Her tears were falling freely from her eyes, but her feelings were
shut down. Rick held her so hard that he was hurting her, but she
didn't feel it, and he didn't notice. His own tears were falling
"Lisa please, I am so sorry...I didn't meant it...I...I am
confuse, I didn't meant it," he repeated and then Lisa finally
"No you weren't," she murmured softly, "and we both
know it," she said looking into his now scared eyes.
Rick couldn't read the expression in Lisa's eyes, they were hurt,
obviously, but also had a glint of acknowledgment in them. She knew,
he thought bitterly.
"I love you," he said with a trembling lower lip, meaning
his words and scared to death of losing her.
"I know," she said and slowly moved her hand and touched
his cheek. Rick felt the warmth of her hand and his heart squeezed
in his chest when his brain asked himself what the hell he did,
that he ruined what was the only good thing that happened in his
Lisa moved her hand and with her thumb, she touched his lower lip.
Rick held his breath, feeling more scared in his life than he ever
"I love you, I do," he said taking her hand and kissing
Lisa was in a calmed state, almost like she was walking in her sleep.
So calm that Rick was scared that she was going to disappear from
"We can't fool us Rick. We settled the rules of this game a
year ago, we just...got confused," she explained, her eyes
fixed on his trembling lip and talking almost automatically.
"Don't leave me....please," he begged almost crying aloud,
like a lost child holding onto his blanket.
"I won't...but we can't pretend to have something that we don't,"
she said softly, feeling how every one of her words hurt her forever.
Rick cried and
hugged her, asking forgiveness with his actions, for his words.
He wasn't sure why he said all that before, he just felt more scared
of the possibility of being away from her than all the 'what if's"
in his life.
"We are fine," said Lisa in his ear, but still not hugging
him back. "We just aren't going to pretended anymore. I..I..."
said Lisa walking away from him, looking for the right words "I
am sorry for pushing you so far with this. We can't control our
feelings, and if I was responsible of you saying what you didn't
feel, I am sorry," she said truthfully. Rick wanted to kick
himself, because after a long, long time, he saw the pain in her
eyes again, that pain he saw for years and he just refuse to notice.
That hurt feeling was there again, the almost unbearable pain of
her life was back in those blurry green eyes that weren't bright
anymore. Rick blamed himself for it.
"You aren't responsible for anything Lisa...it is me, I am
the one who doesn't know what I want in life, I am the one who is
questioning things, not you!" he said walking and taking her
in his arms, in a way she had to look at him.
"It was just about time Rick. I told Claudia once, that to
love and to be in love were different things," she said looking
with no hope into his blue eyes. This time it was Rick who looked
"Just think about the positive side of this, it's not lost...we,
we still have a chance, we just...well, you just need to find your
answer and when you do, I am going to be around..." she explained
with a quivering voice, holding her own tears.
"I don't want to go..." he said scared like a child.
"You don't have to. The answer you are looking for is here.."
said Lisa, touching his chest, where his heart was. Even when she
knew that her own words were possibly going to let him go away at
the end; she just couldn't lie to him. "..and when you find
it, then with no pressure, and for all the good reasons, if you
decide you want it...we can be together again, but this time for
real, with children and everything," said Lisa, trying to joke
and smile, but her words and the idea of the children that probably
wouldn't be there ever, made her gulp a little.
Rick held her one more time, crying in her neck, fully knowing that
he screwed it up forever and just hoping that at the end of the
journey, she was going to be the choice he would make.
have to go," said Lisa, cleaning her tears.
"Where are you going?" asked Rick worried.
"I have to be on the base when the new crew arrived tonight,"
"I am going with you," said Rick not wanting to be away
from her right now...not ever.
"No" she said softly but firmly. "You stay, I will
go...I need the time away too. I will return around 5 AM so don't
wait for me, ok? Go and get some sleep," she said putting her
hands on his chest, feeling the warmth of his body, one more time.
"You can't drive in this state, let me take you there,"
begged Rick, holding her right hand against his heart.
"It's ok, there is a driver waiting for me outside now, probably.
He is going to take me there and bring me home," she whispered,
losing her voice.
want to let her go and kissed her on the lips, in a bittersweet
kiss that made his heart stop with a sudden feeling of lost. He
didn't want her to go now.
"Don't go," he whispered against her salty lips, but she
nodded a no.
"Goodbye, Rick," she said finally and before her tears
ran away from their prison she opened the door and left the house.
When Rick stop
listening to the car engine because it was too far away from home,
a sudden cheer and happy exclamations could be heard from the kitchen,
were Claudia and Roy probably let everybody know about the news
of their baby. Rick stood there in the library alone, with the sound
of his happy friends in the background and an emptiness in his heart
that was almost unbearable.
"Ma'am, sorry for asking, but are you all right?" asked
the driver looking at her in the mirror of the car.
Lisa was lost in her own thoughts, far away from reality. The voice
of the man sounded so far away that she barely noticed him.
"I am fine, private. I think I am getting a cold" she
lied to him, not wanting to worry anybody else.
The driver said, "Yes ma'am" and concentrated on the road.
away from the window and couldn't think at all. Her brain had so
many things to think about but was unable. It was like she acted
just for her biological functions and nothing more. There weren't
anymore tears, there weren't any more feelings, everything was just
The night was
cold and dark. The only light on the road were the lights of the
car that Lisa was in. The silence was so intense, that it was like
they were in space and not on earth. Somehow everything fell into
place in that moment, in that day, because as a line in a play,
from behind Lisa's car, a new car came from nowhere and started
accelerating until it reached the position next to them. Alert suddenly
of the car, the private accelerated their speed, trying to lose
"What the hell?" cursed the driver, when this unknown
car finally reached them on their side of the road. Lisa reacted
and tried to see inside the opposite car, but it was too dark and
she couldn't see a thing.
"Slow the speed!" ordered Lisa, but before the private
could obey, the car pushed Lisa's car, trying to take them away
from road dangerously.
"Stop now!! Stop!!" shouted Lisa but the car only needed
another harsh strike to push them away from the road and out of
Lisa felt how the car was jumping on the way down. She couldn't
see how high they were or if there was a cliff at the end. The darkness
surrounded her and she knew she was going to die right then and
there. Lisa put her hands over her head, and then over her knees
and asked God to take care of Rick, before a huge crash was heard
and Lisa couldn't think or feel anymore.
Rick listened to the distant ringing of a phone. He was too deep
in his almost drunken sleep to notice the steps at 2 AM of someone
who ran to pick up the noisy telephone. After Lisa left, Rick drank
half of the bottle of scotch and fell asleep in his bed...their
bed, he thought sadly. He lost conscience again, until a few seconds
later the shout of Sammy woke up even the dead. Rick jumped from
his sleep and felt a wave of nausea that almost made him throw up.
It was obvious that everyone had jumped from their bedrooms by the
steps down the stairs. Rick touched the bed next to him and didn't
find Lisa. After a few seconds, his brain began to work and remembered
the awful scene earlier and felt again a new wave of nausea.
Standing up, he went to the bathroom and realized he wasn't drunk
anymore, just with the effects of a hang over. Quickly he splashed
some water on his face and ran downstairs to find out the reason
for the commotion.
When Rick finally
reached the first floor, Vanessa and Kim were holding Sammy who
was crying on the floor. Max was holding Miriya and Roy was holding
Claudia, who was on the edge of hysteria.
"What happened?!" asked Rick worried as he walked to the
group. Everybody looked at him and the silence involved the ambient,
all eyes focusing on him. Rick knew something bad had happened,
but couldn't think straight. Sammy sniffed again and everybody cried
not knowing what to say.
"Tell me!!" said Rick desperately until Max held his arm.
"It's Lisa, Rick," he said seriously. Rick felt how his
heart stopped as he listened to her name.
"What happened ? Where is she?!" demanded Rick.
"She had an accident on the road Rick, she is in the hospital...she...is
not alright" said Max before his own blue eyes filled with
Rick felt like
he was falling and all his functions stop. His soul wasn't in his
body and he was living only for mercy of nature. Processing the
information took him minutes.
"It can't be...possible," said Rick after a few minutes
but then Claudia hugged him the way Lisa had hugged Roy earlier.
Rick was speechless
and Roy took him to the car and somehow after 15 minutes he woke
up and realized they were all halfway to the hospital. Sammy remained
with Dana in the house because she had taken the news too badly.
The rest of them were on their way, Max driving. When Rick awoke
from the shock, images of Lisa came into his mind. Images of when
he saw her for the very fist time and she gave him directions to
land. Then he remembered when they had their first fight over the
technical channel and he called her an 'old sourpuss'. Then he remembered
when they were trapped inside the SDF-1, the movies, the coffee,
when he rescued her from Mars, when he rescued her from Alaska base.
Then his mind jumped from those times to more recent ones, their
wedding, their fights, their lovemaking...her laughter, her jokes,
her tenderness, her voice, her eyes...her soul.
The car stopped
at the entrance to the hospital and all of them rushed inside the
building. It was a nurse who stopped them half way.
"You can't run in here like that! Please behave yourself"
"Where is she?!!" asked Rick hysterically to the nurse
who was trying to control him.
"Please calm down sir!" Shouted the nurse at him, but
he was out of control.
"Where is Lisa!! Tell me where she is!!" cried Rick, hurting
the nurse's arm.
"Let me go!!" shouted the nurse and Max and Roy held Rick
from each side of his arms.
"Lisa! Lisa Hayes! where is my wife!" shouted Rick at
the top of his lungs, almost feeling dizzy.
A doctor come to see what all the shouting was about and helped
Roy and Max hold Rick, who was out of his mind.
"Easy, Easy there! She is in surgery right now, you can't see
her yet!" said the doctor until Rick finally stop moving and
fell on the floor.
"How is she?" asked Claudia to the doctor. Rick was still
sitting on the floor, looking nowhere.
"She is not fine Miss. When they found her, the medical team
had to do CPR on her, then we almost lost her in the emergency room."
explained the doctor, who still had an eye on Rick.
"Why is she in surgery?" asked Miriya worriedly.
"Because when she was stable, we realized that the hit of the
car caused a Cerebral Vascular Accident and if we didn't precede
at once, she was going to die for sure Ma'am," the doctor said
"What do you mean for sure?" asked Rick standing up with
the help of Max and Roy.
"What I mean, sir, is that the surgery is very risky. It's
an extreme situation. I am not going to lie to you, there are very
good chances for her to make it, but the possibility of losing her
is high too," explained the doctor to everyone. Rick listened
to his words and felt himself drowning in desperation.
After the questions were made, and they were waiting for the surgery
to end, Rick had time to calm himself. Hours past and they waited,
Rick in silence, holding his hands and touching his ring on his
left hand. The world suddenly changed for him and he opened his
soul for the real truth, what Lisa meant to him, how deep her essence
was in every pore of his life and his body. Somehow in all the pain
he was going through, he saw the light of the truth and found his
answer. Fully awake to reality, Rick closed his eyes and accepted
the responsibility of his own actions, of his own words. Listening
to the far away humming of a thousand machines, Rick realized what
was real love and that he had lost it.
since they arrived, the surgery ended. Another doctor came to see
the family and friends and informed them that they had helped Lisa
and that she was alive, only by a miracle. The doctor explained
that the next hours were crucial and that she wasn't breathing on
her own yet, but it was about time for her to wake up. Roy hugged
Claudia, crying like a baby and this time it was her who comforted
him. Max hugged Miriya who was thanking God, but Rick was in his
tracks, enable to speak.
you the husband?" asked the doctor to Rick until he nodded
"You can see her if you want to," explained the doctor
and Rick followed him not saying a word.
Slowly he opened
the door of the room, and he saw her, lying in bed with machines
all around her. Her head had bandages but she still had her long
hair and he thought that she would be glad for it when she woke
up. After walking next to her, holding her hand and feeling it cold,
and after screaming in silence, for what was ages, Rick was brave
enough to look into her sleeping face and touch her cold cheek.
"I am in love with you, Lisa Hayes. Do you hear me?" he
said softly, kissing her hand again. "I need you like the air,
like the water. You are essential for me, do you hear me?"
he begged, sniffing hard. "I love you so much that it's killing
me, baby...and I was scared of that, because it is so great and
scary that someone is so vital for someone else, but you are that
for me Lisa.." he said, his face wet with tears as he cleaned
the lines of blood away from her face "...I am in love with
you, and I know it, because I want you to be happy, more than anything
else in the world. It is true that I need you Lisa, God knows I
need you, but I want you to be happy baby.." he said and his
voice broke for the tears, fully knowing that his next words were
painfully true "...and if you want to go now, my love...if
your soul wants to go away to be free and happy Lisa, I want you
to do it...because I love you" he said against her hand, inches
away from her face and then he couldn't talked anymore. He fell
asleep crying next to her, dreaming that this whole day was a nightmare
and that he would wake up touching the tip of her nose with his
own one more time...